Page 31 of Fragments of You

“Why?” I use my free hand to bring her face back to me when she attempts to look away.

“Too much has happened,” she croaks, looking anywhere but in my eyes.

“It can’t be too late for us, P.”

“We can’t come back from what you did.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I’m with Felix now.” She regains some of her composure, her bright green eyes coming back to meet mine.

“As you’ve made very clear. I’m asking for your friendship here, not your hand.” If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn a glimpse of disappointment crossed her features, but it’s gone so quickly, I’m resigned to believe I’m just seeing things I want to see and not what’s actually in front of me.

“I can’t just be your friend.”

“Then be something more.”

“Nash.” She blows out a heavy breath. “I love Felix.”

“And I love you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Don’t say what’s true? Because it is. I’ve never stopped. The thought of you, of one day standing in front of you again, it’s the only thing that got me through the last four years. I know I can’t erase the past, but please, at least let me try to atone for my sins.”

“Why should I?”

“Because we have too much history to just let this be the end. You’re with Felix, fine. But being with Felix doesn’t mean you can’t also be in my life. I need you, Paisley.”

“Yeah, well, I needed you too, and you still left.” She holds onto her anger like a vice. I get why, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

“I won’t ever be able to apologize enough for what I did to you, for what I put you through. But I mean it when I say that I love you, Paisley. And whether you forgive me or you hate me forever, there will never be a day when that’s not true.”

“I need to go.” She pulls her hand out of mine, again as if just realizing I still had a hold of it. “Please move.”

“One day, you’re going to have to forgive me, P. For both our sakes.”

“Yeah, well, today is not that day.”

When she pushes me this time, I let the impact move me. Not because I want to, but because I can see that’s what she needs.

“I’m not giving up on us. Even if the only thing you can give me is friendship, I will never stop fighting for you,” I tell her, taking another step back as she tugs open her car door.

“Then I hope you’re prepared for a lifetime of disappointment,” she says as she quickly climbs into the driver’s seat.

“I love you, P,” I tell her seconds before she slams the door between us.

I don’t get a response, not that I expected one.

She speeds out of the parking lot moments later, knowing with complete certainty that this will not be the last time I have to watch her leave.

But even knowing that. Even knowing I’m in for the fight of my life, it only makes me want to fight harder. Because she is worth it.

She’s always been worth it.

“I TAKE IT YOUR SAD attempt at winning her back did not go as planned?” These are the first words that leave Iris’s mouth as she approaches the front porch where I’m currently sitting.

“What gave it away?”

---