Page 71 of No One But You

Kora followed my gaze and rolled her eyes. “Seriously. They all need a life.” She shook her head and pulled me by the hand out of the yard to the front of the house.

This was better. It was quieter here, perfect, and for now, we were alone.

“Kora . . .” I started, but she put up her hand. I closed my mouth.

“Look, I know things in your past were hard. That scar under your eye holds a story I could never understand. I’m sure all of this”—she gestured toward all the cars and the subdivision— “is something new to you. You mentioned never having a family. I can’t picture that. Here in Orlinda Valley, family is more than just blood. Everyone stands up for each other. I don’t know what it’s like to not have all this. To not be accepted, to not be around people who love me, and I’m not going to pretend I do. But I can’t make you believe you’re good enough for me. If you don’t believe it yourself, that’s something you’re going to have to figure out.”

“Kora.” I took her hands. I needed to tell her now. Just do it. Get my baggage out in the open. “Everything you just said is spot on. My life sucked, and I never imagined anyone actually had all this.” I gestured around me. “This was a dream I thought only existed in movies. But there’s more I need to tell you.” I stared off in the distance and took in some breaths. “I was running from more than just Terry when I left Georgia, and I thought if I left my past, I wouldn’t have to face everything. I should have realized that was a mistake. Unfortunately, it’s a part of who I am, and I can’t hide from the truth any longer.”

I moved my gaze back to her brown eyes, and for the first time in my life, I saw concern, and someone who truly cared—about me.

I licked my lips and puffed out a breath. Just do it. “I didn’t tell you the whole truth about me. I know Terry told you some, but it’s my story to tell.” I grasped her hands tighter, needing—no, hoping—her strength and courage would seep into my skin. “As I was growing up, I needed to make sure Sebastian and Susie had everything they needed. Clothes for school, pencils and paper, food. The basics. At first, Terry had enough money stashed away and I would take it and buy things, but by my junior year, things became worse. His drinking took a new turn and he never had money. We became desperate. I needed to do anything I could to get money so we could survive.” I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I looked down at the grass and closed my eyes. Relax. Once she knows, it’s in her court. She’ll get to decide. You owe it to her.

“Kai?” Kora’s voice was soft and concerned.

I glanced up into those beautiful orbs and felt my world start turning. Giving me the nerve to continue.

It will all be good. I took a deep breath. “I started dealing drugs. Pot at first. It was easy to get into and easy to be profitable. I made money and was able to put food back on the table and give the twins what they needed. It didn’t take long before I was offered pills to sell. Those were even easier to get rid of than the pot. I dropped out of high school the moment I turned eighteen and pushed pills instead. My thought process was—more time making money, and it seemed to work for a while. I made enough money to keep us fed and fulfill the twins’ basic needs. Unfortunately, one night I sold to an undercover cop and was arrested. Sebastian and Susie were in college, so the money I’d made helped them a lot. But then I found myself behind bars.”

My pulse was racing, and I had been rambling. I took another deep breath. “Three years later, I got out. Sebastian was in basic training, and Susie had just graduated. I made it to Sebastian’s basic training graduation, saw him off to Alaska, and helped Susie get set for South Dakota, then I hightailed it out of there myself. I needed to start over. I found a construction job where my record didn’t matter, and I’ve been working there ever since.”

There. I said it. All of it. Now she knew. I waited for a response. Yelling. Anything.

Finally, after what felt like eons but was probably just a couple minutes, Kora squeezed my hands.

“Wow,” she said, her eyes on mine. “I’m sorry that happened, but I’m more sorry you had to do that for you and your siblings.”

I needed to add more and make her understand why I acted like I did. “I’ve worked hard to not be stuck in my past. When Terry showed up and had already caused issues, it took me back. He made several comments that reminded me why I didn’t want him to be a part of my life, and I allowed him to get under my skin. Again.”

I glanced around at the trees and the pastures. People cared for each other in Orlinda Valley. This is the type of place I wished I would have grown up in. That’s why I was here. I wanted this for my future.

I looked down at Kora and my heart did a somersault. I brushed my hand through her hair, which caught the light, causing the red to shine bright. “All this threw me. It’s what I’ve always wanted. A family. A place to belong, but I never believed it really existed, and when I witnessed how people can love each other unconditionally, I was overwhelmed. Everything about you and about this scares me. What I feel for you scares me. Ever since I saw you on the side of the road, I’ve been attracted to you, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”

I cupped her face and lifted her eyes to mine. “I should never have walked away from you without telling you everything. My true past, my feelings, and why I felt that way, and I can’t promise I won’t screw up again, but I want to try to make this work. Make us work. If you want me.”

I couldn’t read Kora’s expression, but she sucked her bottom lip in and bit on it. God, how I wanted to be the one biting on that lip. My pulse raced. There was a chance she wouldn’t want me. That she didn’t want to deal with my baggage and my skeletons. If that’s what she decided, I’d understand, and I’d let her go. Somehow.

“Kai, when I met Terry at the bar, we had a talk about you.” She reached out and traced my scar. “Tell me about this.” She removed my hands from her face and held them tight.

Her hands were soft, and my pulse seemed to calm at her touch. She wanted to know about the scar. I’d already told her so much. What’s one more thing?

I took a deep breath and blew it out. “I was a teenager. Maybe thirteen or fourteen. Our mother had been gone for a good while, and Terry’s alcoholism was out of control. If the twins were going to be taken care of, I was going to be the one doing it. They were about seven. I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, and the twins were at the table working on their homework. Sebastian had his backpack on the floor, and I didn’t notice. I was in my own world. I had a big test in Algebra the next day and needed to get the chores done so I could get to studying. At some point, Terry walked in and fell over Sebastian’s backpack.”

I shook my head. I could still see the fear in Sebastian’s eyes like it was yesterday. “Terry jumped at him and pulled him up out of his chair and pushed him . . . well, almost threw him against the wall. I grabbed the first thing I got my hand on, and it was Terry’s beer bottle. He must have just put it on the counter. I screamed at him to get his hands off Sebastian. I called him all types of names. He turned toward me and laughed. He grabbed the bottle from my hand, and I punched him. The bottle fell to the floor and smashed to pieces. He punched me, and when I fell, he held a piece of the jagged glass to my face and cut me.”

Kora’s eyes were wide, and a tear fell silently. I wiped the tear from her cheek. “I told him to do it. I told him to cut me and leave the twins alone. He did, and as I screamed, it was like he was slapped. He just froze. I don’t know what happened, but I pushed him off me, and he never hit or attacked any of us again. He just sort of existed in the house.” I shrugged. “It was after that when things started getting worse, and the food disappeared from the cupboards. Not long after, I was selling pot.” I touched my scar. “This scar is a reminder of my past, but also it reminds me that because I stood up to him and pushed him to cut me, I saved Sebastian and Susie from further abuse. I swore then I’d never let anyone hurt any of us again, and I’d never be like him. I worked hard to follow through, and I made some bad decisions along the way, and in the end, things became worse for the twins after I was locked up, but it all ended up okay. Sometimes when things are at their worst and we can’t see a way out, we are proven wrong.”

Kora traced her finger along my scar. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I’ve worked my entire life to not be anything like Terry. That’s one reason I don’t drink much. The other reason is when I used to drink, I made bad choices. I went from buzzed to belligerent pretty damn quickly, and I didn’t like myself the next morning.”

I placed my hands on Kora’s waist. “I’ve kept myself shrouded in mystery and away from people, but I was attracted to you that very first moment I saw you. And it scared me. That’s why I tried to push you away, but your stubbornness had already gotten under my skin, and I couldn’t forget you.”

“That’s because there’s something here. And I don’t want to be without you.” She closed the small gap between us and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I closed my eyes and breathed her in.

“Kai, thank you for sharing with me and being honest. I know it was hard. But understand something. I don’t feel sorry for you. I don’t judge you. You did what you had to do to survive. I can’t say I understand because I don’t. I just want you to know I care, and everyone here cares.”

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