Page 21 of Embracing Us

Chapter nine

Max

The rain pelts down on my windscreen, the wipers frantically try to clear the water from the glass. I reduce my speed again as the visibility reduces further. My mind whirls considering whether I should turn around and go back to the house. Walking out wasn’t the right action to take, but if I hadn’t, I may have strangled Marina in the kitchen in front of her mother. That would definitely have spelt the end of Linda’s and my relationship.

Cars are parked on either side of the street leaving a narrow passage in between. The hunched figure steps out into the road as I pass, giving me no time to react. The sound of flesh hitting metal is deafening. The body bounces across the bonnet of my car as I slam on the brakes. The heap of junk I’m driving skids to a stop. I grab for the door handle, immediately rushing out into the flooded road. My heart pounds in my chest as my eyes search for the mown-down pedestrian. Terror courses through me on approaching the limp corpse lying on the dark tarmac. As I stand looking down, she is framed by a pool of light shining down from a streetlamp above. My shape casts a shadow across her. The whole scene feels lifted from a film, not something I am experiencing myself. A situation I am living through.

*

“Max, wake up.” Linda’s voice echoes around me. I’m suddenly aware of her touching my shoulder. “Max,” she says again. “You’re having a nightmare. Wake up, darling, please. I’m here.” My eyes fly open, I’m wrapped in the cover of our bed, sweat pouring from my brow. “Was it another nightmare?” she asks, concern etched in her words as I stare up at the ceiling.

“They’re getting worse,” I mumble. “Every night, I’m rerunning the worst day of my life. Living through that heart-stopping moment again and again.” I glance at her, she’s sitting on her knees beside me, looking down, watching me intently. Her hands move to my face, holding my cheeks. She leans down and kisses me gently. “Every day the memories become more vivid. It’s like I’m there. I don’t know what to do.” My voice cracks painfully. She lies down, resting her head on my chest and wrapping herself around me.

“I think you need to speak to someone,” she suggests. Her breath tickles my skin.

“I already have. It didn’t help,” I snap back. She stills at my harsh tone. The nightmares are gradually getting worse; it’s getting harder to cope. They started two weeks after the accident, plaguing me ever since. Only a handful of nights haven’t been tarnished by the wicked dreams reminding me of what happened. The fact I killed someone. Linda can tell me it was an accident, time and again, but the truth remains – a woman died because of me.

“Max, you need to speak to someone,” she repeats firmly, then pushes herself up to sit, her legs curled underneath her. She is still naked from the night before. Her breasts hang free, and her dark curls shoot off in all directions. A sad smile graces her lips, but she never takes her eyes from mine. “I love you and will support you in every way I can, but you need to tackle these nightmares. I need a husband with plenty of energy.” She flashes me a dark smile, then bites her lip. “Husband. That sounds good on my tongue.”

“It does,” I agree. “I’m glad you went all independent on me and proposed. You on your knees is always a favourite sight of mine. But you on your knees promising to suck my cock forever was pure perfection.”

“Don’t change the subject and try to distract me with sex.” She crosses her arms across her chest, blocking the view I was enjoying. “The counsellor.”

“Okay, I’ll do as my future wife wishes,” I concede bitterly, knowing at the same time she’s right. “I’ll call the doctor and arrange an online appointment. Happy? You’re hen pecking already.” I feign annoyance, but one look at her always breaks my outward façade. We smile idiotically at one another.

“Very happy. I need a strong durable man in my life.”

“Durable? What kind of requirement in a husband is that?” I ask her, and she laughs.

“You need to be able to keep up with me. I’m a very demanding woman.”

“I love it when you’re demanding.” I push myself up to sit so we are eye level. My hand lifts to her cheek. I run the back of my hand across her smooth skin. She closes her eyes and sighs quietly. “I’ll speak to the doctor. This will be sorted. I won’t have you worrying about me, Beautiful. It’s my job to look after you.”

“We look after one another. It’s both our jobs,” she says. “I’m so lucky to have found you.” My heart tightens, and I move towards her to steal a kiss. She pulls back. “No, because it won’t only be a kiss. You’ll have me on my back, and we need to get up now.”

“Why? Have we somewhere to be?”

“Yes,” she replies with a smile. “We have a wedding to plan.”

“Already? When do you want to get married?” I ask, surprised. Her eyes dance with enthusiasm.

“A better question would be. How soon can we organise it? I want to be Mrs Gordon as soon as possible.” I blink at her, staggered by her excitement. “Next week, the week after, no longer than a month.”

“We need to check the rules of being married here in Spain, or if it would be easier to return to the UK. There’s no rush, Beautiful.”

“Oh, but there is,” she whispers. “I want to be able to say I’m going home to fuck my husband.”

“Get out of the bed,” I tell her, skimming her breasts with my fingers, “before I pin you to it.” She grins then wriggles from the covers and climbs off the bed. She proceeds to wander around our room naked, walking over to Jackson’s cot to check on him. “Is he awake?”

“No, still sleeping,” she says, moving to the wardrobe and lifting her pink silk robe from a hanger. She slides it onto her body, securing it at the waist with the tie. “Do you want a coffee? We could enjoy our morning refreshment on the roof terrace, like we did before.”

“Sounds perfect.” I watch as she fills the white plastic kettle with water and sets it to boil before preparing two cups of identical instant coffee. She moves so smoothly; I could watch her forever. And now she’s promised me forever, I couldn’t be happier. The dark thoughts poisoning my mind need to be addressed so I can be the best husband and father my little family needs. A family I never foresaw, but one that I can’t imagine living without.

*

Over the past week, Linda and I have enjoyed being back in El Faro at Decisiones De Vida. Our daily routine is very different from the year before, and it is strange to not be behind the bar serving the customers. Jessica runs the spa in a precise manner. She has a new assistant who she enjoys ordering around. Lacy has taken a job offer in Ibiza for the summer, so she left before we arrived. We haven’t spoken since our argument in the bar last year, but I’m sure she will be aware of the drastic changes in my life. Not having to see her was welcome news.

Linda walks up behind me as I stand shaving in the bathroom mirror. She comes to stand at my side, watching, fixated as I run the blade across my skin. “As sexy as you are with designer stubble,” she says, “I prefer you smooth. It doesn’t tickle so much when you kiss me.” With my face still half-covered in shaving foam, I glance at her. She flashes me a sexy smile in return.

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