Page 86 of An Endless Memory

“Running in the fresh air for a couple of hours tuckered her out. I have the third handset in the living room. She’s passed out on the couch.” She set the monitor on the shop bench and put her phone beside it. “You’ve really cleaned up in here.”

“Your grandma hadn’t done much in years. Understandable. Besides, cleaning and organizing is almost all it needed.” I lifted my chin toward the junk pile. “Check for anything you might want to keep.”

“I will.” She tipped her head and studied me. The indigo of her irises nearly blended with her pupils in the shadows of this place. “When will you be here next?”

I lifted a shoulder. A hard question to answer when leaving was starting to become the last thing I wanted to do. I’d come next weekend if she needed me, but I also had to keep space between us. I would never be the man Mama thought I’d grow up to be, and I didn’t want to create more loss for myself when we parted ways. It’d be easier if I was used to seeing her less than once a month. “We’ll have to see what the weather’s like.”

Her brows pinched together like she didn’t care for my answer. “Of course.” She licked her lips. We’d had sex last night, but seeing her tongue was an instant turn-on for me. My dick remembered what she could do with it. “Do you have Thanksgiving plans?”

The holiday was less than a month away. “I haven’t done much the last few years. I’ll probably stay at home so the guys can be with their family.” Unmarried employees still had parents, siblings, and close friends they needed to connect with. “Sometimes, I can sneak up for the day, but all my siblings are going to be having babies or home with newborns. I doubt there’ll be any feasts getting prepared.”

The furrow between her brow deepened. “You shouldn’t spend the holiday alone.”

“It’s happened before.” Admittedly, not as much as one would think. Not until the rest of my siblings had moved away from Buffalo Gully.

She pushed her hair back. “My mom just messaged and told me not to worry about making it there. It’s a long drive with small kids.” She rolled her eyes. “So I told her I’d already gotten a pet sitter.”

Her mom had a reason to be worried. “It’s a six-hour drive.” A long drive for a woman with two young kids.

She leveled me with a stern stare. “It’s shorter than driving from Kansas to Billings with a fraction of my worldly possessions, morning sickness, and a five-year-old who doesn’t understand why we’re leaving everything she knows. Although I’ll grant you that Cali switched between my car and my parents’ on the way to Billings.”

And she didn’t want me treating her like that time in her life, like she couldn’t take care of what needed to be done on her own. “I worry, that’s all.”

“Cali will be in the back seat to help entertain Kellan. If Catherine can’t pet sit, then I can ask someone at the clinic.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have a pet sitter lined up yet?”

She smiled, and I caught a glimpse of that impulsive girl who’d worried her family. “You’re welcome to join us. The drive is about the same for you.”

I’d be working so Jasper could go to her family gathering. “I don’t want to say I’ll try and then disappoint you.”

“No, you definitely make sure I know what to expect.” The tension in her voice was a warning bell.

She had the same stiff set in her shoulders when I’d told her I wanted her to have a choice. Telling a girl that on our first official date wasn’t romantic. Mama wouldn’t have been surprised. Your dad would rather get me pregnant again than buy me flowers. That’s his idea of romance.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” I told Lily. “It’s important that you know where I’m at in this marriage.”

She focused on me, but I couldn’t read her expression. Several moments ticked by. “I understand,” she finally said.

Did she? The skepticism in her voice said otherwise. “Lily?—”

“I think we have a short window where both kids are napping and you have to leave soon.” She closed the distance between us and tucked her hands underneath my sweater. Her cool fingers wrapped around my waistband, but I’d warm them up soon enough. “Think you can keep me warm?”

Sex would be a distraction. But it was her using it, not me, and I’d let her do whatever she wanted as long as she knew she always had an out.

Nineteen

Lily

My parents’ house was loud and chaotic. I came down the stairs, taking in the scene. Alder, Jasper, Poppy, and Dad were yelling at the football game on TV. Violet’s boyfriend was stuck deep in his phone, antisocial with our group as always. Violet was next to him, pretending to be engrossed in the football game, but I suspected she’d rather be in the kitchen with Mom and Clover. Willis didn’t like it when she left him alone with the rest of the family.

Cali and Kellan were in the kitchen. We’d arrived late last night, and they’d been getting spoiled all day.

Mom and Dad had tried to talk me out of driving. They’d even offered to move the shindig to Crocus Valley, but I told them it would be nice to be home.

I hadn’t been lying. There was a comfort within these walls I couldn’t deny. Yes, I might’ve been smothered at times, the worst was right after the divorce, but there had also been a lot of freedom. This was my home, and I’d let Carter and his family make me feel ashamed about it.

I was enjoying my visit and Mom’s food. There were no memories of Eliot associated with the house. I wouldn’t be watching TV tonight, hoping he was secretly driving in the dark to be with me. In our last message, he’d said he was packing breakfast sandwiches to go do chores.

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