Page 85 of An Endless Memory

“We’d have crossed paths.”

“I wouldn’t have named you as a potential husband, Romeo.”

His gaze flickered. “Why not?”

“I’d have probably accepted my fate. But you tried to help then and then you were so nice at the party. I don’t know. It’s not like I know any other single guys.”

The server arrived with our food. We started eating, but he was drawn in on himself.

I ate half my club sandwich, but my appetite was lacking. Something was bothering him. Was I the cause? “Eliot. What’d I say?”

“Nothing.” He shoved a fry in his mouth and kept chewing. His throat worked when he swallowed. “I’m just reeling over my brother being a dad of twins when he was just divorced from that same wife a few years ago.”

That wasn’t it. I should quit asking, but why wouldn’t he open up to me? We were getting closer. Or I was letting sex cloud our circumstances. “You can talk to me. I know we’re not…”

He arched a brow. “Husband and wife?”

“That’s on paper.” He was showing me how things should’ve been in my first marriage. It wasn’t all fake, was it? I let my food sit. I needed to hear his answer first. My heart pounded against my ribs. “What’s going on between us is more.”

He scooted another fry through his ketchup, then ditched it on his plate. “It’s more, but at the same time, we both know what it is.”

Maybe what I was asking was whether he wanted it to be more? We’d gotten married. Then we’d slept together. Now, we were on a date. Our process was ass-backward, but couldn’t it still lead to somewhere?

“I care about you, Lily, and those kids. But at the end of the year, we’re each still going to have our own life. If we still want to keep seeing each other, this is what we have.”

If we still want to keep seeing each other… “Long distance?”

His gaze darkened. “Long distance isn’t good enough for you.”

Surprise crashed through me and shifted to irritation. I was tired of people deciding what was best for me. My in-laws made it seem like their mean words were for my own good, but it wasn’t. They said what was in their best interest. “Don’t I get to decide what’s good for me?”

“One year of pretending won’t be enough for you to decide. I can’t even live under the same roof.” He deliberately pushed his drink farther away. “You have time, Lily. Your only requirement is the year. Nothing in those documents said you have to stay married the entire seven years.”

He made it sound like he was thinking of me, but he was coming off like he wanted us to be as temporary as the nuptials. Wow. Hurt resounded through me like a gong strike. Temporary. I had known it, but when he’d driven through a winter storm to be in my bed, I had convinced myself it was so much more. That he meant what he said.

In reality, he wasn’t looking for more than what Carter had wanted. Only Carter had sought out the marriage to solve some of his issues with Cali and his clinic. I was Carter in this case, but the thought only made me feel more foolish. Carter could keep his wits about him. I was falling hard for Eliot.

I wanted him to be the man who wanted to be by my side for no other reason than love. Not obligation. Not for a trust. Not for his own needs. I wanted him to be a man who would change more than a weekend to be with me. Meanwhile, he was a man whose goal was to become my second ex-husband.

Eliot

I was in the shop, making sure all the snow removal equipment Lily inherited was working. Cali had played outside for two hours and then she’d gone in. The sun was high, and the temperature had swung back up to be unseasonably warm. Melting snow could be heard dripping off the roof and trees.

Being gone from the ranch wasn’t as nerve-racking as it used to be, but it was time for me to go. Jasper had called. We’d lost a mare. There was nothing that could’ve been done. Sometimes, an illness took hold of an animal before we saw any signs. He and Alexander had handled the situation, but I needed to leave before dark, or that melt would turn to ice on the highways. I wouldn’t be as driven to get home in time as I was to get to Crocus Valley on Halloween night. If I could spend every weekend like this one… That was a reality that wasn’t mine.

Lily entered the shop. The big doors were open. I washed my hands and dried them, turning to enjoy the view. She was looking around the building. I had straightened and organized tools, separating old junk that wouldn’t be useful, like spare engine parts from equipment that was no longer on the property and tires. Why so many tires? I piled all that in the corner to haul to the dump if I was ever around during open hours.

You could make that happen.

Maybe I would. It couldn’t be a regular occurrence. I had a job. And she hadn’t argued about not filing for divorce and finding a guy who could take a load to the dump. A guy who could make her feel desired every day instead of when it was convenient for him.

I nearly sneered at the thought. Fuck that guy. But no. I wasn’t selfish with women, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to stand in Lily’s way of happiness. She’d been thoughtful after our date, but as soon as I got her home and got her clothes off, we were back in sync. Deep down, she likely knew I was right.

She shoved her hands in her hoodie. The shop’s interior was cooler, with the concrete floor radiating cold, but she’d be fine if she kept moving. The outline of the baby monitor and her phone were visible in her hoodie pocket.

“Is Cali napping again?” I asked.

She smiled and it was a punch to the gut. The serene, content smile she got sometimes when all was right in her world made me a satisfied man. It didn’t happen often enough, but I’d seen it more the longer she was settled in the house that would soon be hers.

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