Page 71 of An Endless Memory

“Good. Well.” She looked around like she was making sure she had everything, but she hadn’t had a thing when she entered. “I should get going. Darren wanted to leave an hour ago.”

Lily walked her to the door. After Linda was gone, she closed the door and slumped against it. “Oh my god, that was close. If Cali hadn’t called you…”

I wouldn’t be here.

Lily needed more of an effort from me. “I’ll come back in two weeks.”

“No.”

Had I imagined the weekend? Was she second-guessing everything that had happened between us and deciding we needed more distance?

“No,” she said again. “You’ve been worried about how busy you’ll be. We can make it until Halloween.” Her smile was shy. “But I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” I sauntered closer to her. “But know that when I land on your doorstep again, I’m going to have a big box of condoms.”

Sixteen

Lily

It was only the beginning of October. I had to go through the entire month before I could see Eliot again.

I clicked the TV off. The house was quiet. The kids and the dog were asleep. Pebbles was snoozing in her cat tower in the corner. She was not a fan of the snake aquarium that I’d moved next to the tower along the wall, but she didn’t protest enough to sleep somewhere else.

I was sleeping regularly in Grandma’s old bedroom. Safe to say, it was my bedroom now.

Eliot had only stayed over three weekends, but the house was empty without him. I couldn’t look at the kitchen on nights like this and not picture us dancing. This bedroom was a mindfuck. I’d gotten new sheets and bedding, but none of the memories with Eliot were attached to them. So I hadn’t put them on yet.

New mattresses would be arriving soon. I couldn’t very well leave them in the hallway. They wouldn’t fit, and I had arranged for the deliverers to haul out the old ones.

If I got any more pathetic, I’d be in the closet, sniffing his shirts. Thankfully, I hadn’t done that. Yet.

I trudged to bed and set the baby monitor on the nightstand. Kellan had been sleeping mostly through the night.

Before I crawled under the covers, I shot off a Good night text to Eliot. We’d been texting more, but despite what happened between us in this very room, the messages hadn’t been more than check-ins. I refused to seem needy.

The neediness inside me was not just emotional.

How are you guys? From him.

Doing well. He slept through the night! I didn’t tell him when Kellan was fussy.

Way to go, champ!

I was staring at my phone. With a sigh, I crawled between the covers.

Jasper had started working with Eliot. Should I text him and make sure everything’s okay?

What was I worried about? That Eliot realized I wasn’t worth the wait and was at the bar? Was Wilder’s ex hot and interested in him?

Gah! I was never like this.

But then, I’d never gotten the butterflies in my stomach like I did with Eliot. I’d never gotten off like I did with Eliot.

My phone buzzed. I should be ashamed of how quickly I scrambled for the phone.

Eliot: You awake?

Me: Yes

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