Page 45 of An Endless Memory

I sputtered out a laugh. “Maybe it’s all the balls you’ve taken. You give off big castration energy.”

He grinned. Energy sizzled between us. A shiver traced down my spine, lighting up places best left dark. Only they hadn’t been dormant. Not since the last time Eliot was in town. “You do not have to eat cereal for dinner.”

“It happens to be one of my favorites. Mama always hated cereal. She thought it was too unrefined, and I’m not talking about nutrition. We were too country, too hick, too boring.”

His face lit up when he was talking about any of his brothers or his sister. The guardedness returned when he mentioned his mother. “How old were you when she left?”

“Nine. Maybe it should’ve hit me harder, but Aggie was the youngest and the only girl. Mama doted on her. Aggie was the only one Mama had kept in contact with. The rest of us had been mad at our mother, but Mama wanted to save Aggie from the fate of getting trapped in a marriage.” He shook himself like he was waking from a dream. “Enough about her. We have your very present kin to worry about.”

The shame from their visit returned, heavy on my shoulders. “I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask Aunt Linda for a copy.” Horror crept up in my throat, making breathing a struggle. “What if you didn’t have to marry me?”

His lips turned down, and he thought for a moment. “You know, neither of us asked to see proof. Your aunt didn’t strike me as a manipulative lady.”

She hadn’t been as long as I’d known her. The feeling of foolishness ebbed. “Thank you for that.”

“Your dad left us a copy. We can review it with milk dripping down our chins like responsible adults.”

I laughed. “How bad is it if I confess that this is turning into the best Friday night I’ve had in a long time?”

Ten

Lily

I blinked awake. Eliot had taken Kellan again in the middle of the night after I’d fed him. When Eliot had entered the bedroom, I’d been hit with a stark desire of wishing he was coming into the bedroom for me.

Voices filtered in from Cali’s bedroom. That girl was on cloud nine. She had her aunts and uncles in town, her grandparents, and Eliot.

I put on a fresh shirt and some shorts and quietly made my way to the bathroom.

“I don’t know why my old mommy doesn’t want me. My daddy doesn’t either.” Cali’s voice was tiny, more matter of fact than a six-year-old’s should be.

“Aw, Cali. I’m sorry. My mama left too. It sucks when the people who should love us the most hurt us the worst.”

I stopped at the door. I’d been ready to rush in and check on Cali’s state, console her if needed, but Eliot spoke like he knew exactly what she was going through. Cali had never had the benefit of firsthand understanding.

“I know for a fact your old mommy’s issues have nothing to do with you,” Eliot continued, “and everything to do with her. But it still sucks.”

“Yeah,” she said, melancholy. “Mommy’s a good mommy.”

My chest squeezed. I loved that little girl.

“She’s the best mama,” Eliot agreed.

A smile tugged at my lips.

“She says I’m gonna talk to someone.”

“Like, a professional?” he asked.

“Yeah, a consoler.”

“A counselor?” The humor in his voice was barely noticeable. “I think that’s a good plan,” he said quietly. “Having someone to talk to probably helps a lot.”

I put my hand on my chest. The image of a young boy with big brown eyes and no one to go to about his big feelings flashed through my head, leaving an aching in my chest.

“Yup. Did your daddy give you up too?” Cali asked.

Tears heated the backs of my eyes. Fuck Carter and his selfish life.

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