Page 12 of An Endless Memory

Goddammit. “That bad?”

“It’s not good. We’ve moved the bottle calves to the pasture between the older barn and the stables, and we moved those foals to the stables.”

Thank fuck it was summer. We could play musical pastures. Chambers didn’t need the headache. He wasn’t supposed to be full-time, and this weekend would be double time for him. I looked around at everyone. Over half the guests were my family. I’d been gone too much and this was my consequence. A drunk employee. “Fine. I’ll be there in a few hours.”

“You don’t have to cut your weekend short.”

And he didn’t have to do my job on his days off during what should be his retirement. The bookkeeping job was to keep him out of his wife Roxie’s hair. “Talk to you soon.”

I tucked my phone away. When I turned, all the burgers were off the grill and Cody had shut it off. My appetite was shit after that news, but I’d grab some food to go.

“Trouble in paradise?” he asked.

“Chambers is handling it, but he shouldn’t have to.”

“He’s a good guy. What happened?”

“A little tractor meets barn after a few beers.”

He whistled low under his breath. “Need help with anything?”

“I’m just gonna tell everyone bye and head out.”

“This looks serious.” Tova sauntered toward her husband. Her dark hair was gathered in a bouncy ponytail, and she wore a loose yellow sundress. She walked right under Cody’s arm. A perfect pair. No one could tell by looking at them that she had been a burlesque dancer when he’d been an uptight widower. “Cody’s running the grill. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve gotta get going,” I answered.

She patted her husband’s stomach. “Let’s send some food with him. Are you coming back next week to help finish the clinic before Sutton’s office party at the end of the month?”

Another night away? I’d never been gone from home this often unless it included transporting horses.

“Remember, we’re doing the Fourth of July picnic early since it’s on a weekday,” Cody added.

I loved spending the Fourth with them. Sutton had hosted a big family picnic, but this one would be at Cody’s and would be within the window to shoot off fireworks.

But this was my second time in Crocus Valley in a month. I was the boss. The ranch needed my presence. “I don’t know.”

“You’re cutting this weekend short,” Cody said. “Come on down. The ranch will still be there and then you can stay for our Fourth of July party.”

“We’ll see.” I tabled the decision for later, once I knew how much damage was done to the barn.

I found the rest of my siblings, told them a quick version of what was going on, eased their concerns, then walked toward Sutton. Cali ran up to Lily, gave her a batch of wildflowers she’d picked from the property, then ran away.

Lily was grinning when she glanced up at me. Need punched me in the dead center of my chest. What would it be like to be at one of these family gatherings and have a woman smile at me that way? What would it be like if that was one of my kids who ran up to my wife? To not have to watch the clock for when I should leave, or worse, worry that I shouldn’t have been gone in the first place?

She dropped her gaze, a flush darkening her cheeks. The smile wasn’t for me. She wasn’t mine. And neither were her kids. I had to leave, and I couldn’t see my situation changing anytime soon.

Three

Lily

It was Friday and the end of the month. The clinic was having its open house. Everyone was standing around and laughing. The garage doors of the clinic were open, and the floor had been hosed off. A few tables were set up and filled with food.

Meanwhile, I wanted to cry. Every blink pushed back tears. I was supposed to be moving to another house, apartment, condo, or townhouse. I was not. I didn’t even have a toiletry bag packed.

Instead, I had picked up Cali and Kellan from daycare and came straight here. Kellan had fallen asleep in his car seat. Cali was so excited. She’d talked nonstop after the party last week, jabbering about how fun the Knight and Barron kids were. She’d been understandably disappointed when she learned the open house wouldn’t have all of Sutton’s family.

Fatigue swamped me. Kellan continued to snooze in his car seat stroller. Would he sleep tonight? God, I hoped so. My vision was crossing. He’d been extra fussy the last week, like he’d fed off my stress.

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