Page 32 of Her Filthy Mistake

As each question pops up, I pour my heart out with an honesty I haven’t used since I was writing lyrics. The words flow out of me like a knife has cut into me, and everything is rushing out into the open, black poison oozing out until it’s replaced with numbness. I re-read my last answer while feeling the cadence and rhythm of the words. It feels almost cathartic.

Chapter Eighteen

Zoe

As Jace holds my hand to assist me off the boat, I arch my eyebrows. “I told you that we’d win.”

“Yes.” He nods and drops my hand as fast as he collected it. “Yes, you did.”

But it was stupid to win. He doesn’t want to be stuck here with me. He couldn’t have made that clearer last night or this morning at the boot camp. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Besides, the look of guilt on his face, or whatever it was, spoke volumes. He was relieved for the interruption before he did something he regretted. Something more he regretted.

I step onto the beach and marvel at the view. A pure white sand beach. Turquoise water all around us. The water is so clear that you can see the individual grains of sand. It’s stunning. I cross my arms over my chest to ward off the approaching chill that shouldn’t be there. But the distance between us, on this supposed reward for knowing each other better than the other couples, has disaster written all over it.

The entire night, I tossed and turned, reliving his lips on mine. The way his hair felt between my fingers. I’d fantasized about the moment for years, and it surpassed every preconceived notion I’d had. Until the phone rang, and he disappeared as if he’d woken from a trance and realized who he’d been kissing. Yet, my stupid body still aches for his touch. For his strong arms to surround me.

Fuck that. Anger rolls through me. I’m fucking pissed. Pissed at him. Pissed at me. And mad as hell that even the thought of masturbation is depressing. So here I am. Turned on. Angry. Alone with Jace in paradise. Or at least alone on an island with no one we know around us.

And nothing is going to happen.

He shuffles from foot to foot while speaking to the boat captain. The staff is efficiently depositing our gear in the little gazebo several yards from the shore. The open structure has white billowing curtains that make an attempt at privacy. Our picnic of soup, salad, sandwiches, fruit, and dessert gets deposited on the table in front of a white sofa. Even though the fabric looks waterproof, it appears soft to the touch. It’s like our own personal oasis.

I glance at Jace out of the corner of my eye. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his swim trunks, and his chest is covered in a white T-shirt. Clearly, another attempt to put distance between us.

But I’m fucking tired of distance. Maybe it’s time to seduce him and get over him once and for all. Because being in his arms removed any doubt that he was unable to get an erection. Maybe his previous struggles were a result of his alcohol and drug usage. I don’t know, but there were no issues in that department last night.

The captain explains that he and his crew will sail a couple of miles off the island and anchor there until it’s time to return to the resort. My heart skips a beat. We’re going to be completely alone.

I walk into our shelter and shrug off my cover-up, leaving my white two-piece bikini on full display. I’m not going to throw myself at him and force something. If he truly doesn’t want me, then so be it. But…. I’m not walking away if he does.

After returning to the main opening, I lay my hand on the threshold. “If we need to leave because of an emergency, do we have a way to contact you?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” The captain smiles, showing off his sparking white teeth, and hands Jace a two-way radio. “It’s primitive, but we’re only a couple of miles away. If you need us to return before our scheduled parting time, we’ll be on our way.” He tips his head to the right. “And on the other side of the building is a helicopter pad. We can fly in if there’s a serious emergency.”

“Thank you.” I smile in return, and some of the stiffness in Jace’s shoulders relaxes as he clutches the radio.

“Actually, if you want–”

“They’ll come back if we need them.” I glare at him, already knowing what he was going to say. Seriously? Could he be a bigger dick. “Surely, we can be on the same island for four hours without an escort. We managed last night to sleep in the same suite, and nothing happened.”

His gaze meets mine, but his face is expressionless. “Fine.” He shrugs. “You’re right.”

I plop down on the sofa. The man is frustrating beyond measure. How can he kiss me like he wants to devour me and shut it off like a light switch? I snatch up a strawberry and shove it into my mouth.

‘Remember, he’s a former rock star. He can fuck and forget with the best of them. That’s what they do.’ I glance over at the angel in white on my shoulder. Thank you for putting me in my place. I needed the reminder that I’m nothing special to him. I was going on and on about his musical talents, and that must have triggered his groupie radar. Pathetic.

As the boat leaves, Jace grabs the snorkeling gear. “Are you ready?”

“Seriously?” I glare at him. “You’re going to continue to pretend nothing happened last night, and we’re going to go snorkeling?

“Yes.” His jaw flexes, but he doesn’t step a foot closer to our oasis.

I tip my head sideways and pat the cushion beside me as the boat eases back into the sea. “I thought you said you weren’t a pussy.”

“Lord, you’re frustrating,” he growls and stomps across the sand, drawing closer to me.

“Right back at you.” I cross my arms over my chest. Fuck. I’m not a desperate loser. “Never mind.” I jump off the sofa, march up to him, snatch my mask and snorkel from his fingers and brush past him. “You snorkel over here. I’m going over there.” I point in the opposite direction.

He grasps my arm and spins me around. “You heard the instructors. We’re supposed to stay together.”

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