Page 63 of Crowned By the Fae King

"No," he said, the word guttural. Cass shuddered. "Yes. I don't—It's complicated. This is a lot."

His grip loosened enough as he spoke that I was able to wiggle out of his arms. I snagged my shirt and tugged it back on, trying not to react to the sense of rejection that sank into my bones.

"It's fine," I said, the words coming out harsher than I intended. "You can have your distance, splendor. It's fine."

I knew it was ridiculous to feel wounded over Cass having a hard time with something I already knew he found difficult. That was the whole point of pushing him into doing it. But, fuck, I really wanted him to like this. To like me; to want to have me badly enough that the lessons of his long life didn't matter to him.

They did. Of course they did.

But it still sucked to experience.

"Quyen," he said, sounding hurt.

I clenched my jaw. "Don't 'Quyen' me," I said in a tight voice. "Be grumpy about me naming you with respect all you want, but you're just as bad as I am. Don't think I haven't noticed how I'm the only one who doesn't rate a pet name from you."

Cass rocked back, the metallic song of his wings ringing through the room. "Quyen—"

I didn't stay to hear what he had to say. It wasn't fair of me to be pissy at him for having a hard time being vulnerable, not when I was just as bad, but I had my hackles up. I was only making things worse. I needed the space. With a sharp exhale, I leaned into the magic of the palace, magic I only had because of him, and stepped through the trapdoor it made for me, dropping into the darkness without hesitation.

Olive Branch

Ididn't expect to run into anyone. The revel had ended at sunrise, and Cass and I had spent enough time together that most people would either be asleep or already en route home after the coronation. They'd probably had to use guards to get the road clear enough of cultists to let people through, but this was the Clement Palace. There were enough guards available to make a riot line four men deep if necessary.

So it was a bit of a surprise when I walked out into the formal gardens and morning sunlight to find the Sagebrush Duke standing at the edge of the palace grounds, staring out at the valley with the unfocused expression of someone who wasn't seeing anything in front of him. He wasn't in his revel clothing anymore, wearing something plain that looked like travel clothes, and he clutched his snakehead cane so hard his knuckles were white.

I dithered for a moment. I was barefoot, wearing green-and-red flannel pajama pants that clashed mightily with the electric-blue-on-black illustration of my tee, and while I was comfortable in something like this around Cass, Ace was another story. Still, though. He looked like he was having some sort of personal war, and I liked him well enough that being seen as a regular person seemed a low enough cost, if he needed help.

He didn't look up when I walked over, just standing there, but his ear tilted down towards me.

There was no reason to push him. We weren't friends – we barely knew each other – and he was fae. He had all the time in the world.

I stood there with him, the sun warming my face and chill breeze curling around me, for maybe ten minutes before he spoke. He relaxed, bit by bit, the longer we stood there. It was nice for me, too. The silent companionship helped my unhappiness settle, like a calming meditation.

"I didn't anticipate how difficult it would be to choose to hurt again," he said, his voice quiet and calm. "I cannot seem to make myself take the step that will return me to my eternity of pain."

I didn't look at him. I watched a leaf as it fell, feeling autumn descending on the Court. "Has it been a long time, then?" I asked, as if it was an idle question.

He stared out into the middle distance, eyes unfocused, like he was looking into the distant past. "Daesarys Omahice conquered Sagebrush Court more than a thousand years ago. I was only a boy," he said softly. "I tried to save my pet dog. It was stupid, but I was so young. I didn't know better." The wind stirred his hair, the dark strands drifting. "I took a maul to the hip, your majesty. Iron spikes tearing through muscle and smashing bone. I'm lucky to be able to walk, though when I'm at home I generally prefer a wheelchair to the pain of standing."

"Oh," I said, my voice as soft as his, because I felt like I should say something. "That's awful." I swallowed, trying not to imagine the scene. An injured dog, defending his master. A boy, trying to keep a soldier from killing his pet. The callous cruelty of maiming a child because you'd been bitten by his dog.

I swallowed again. "Why are you telling me? The memory must be painful."

One corner of his mouth tugged back. The cool mountain breeze flirted with his hair. "You were kind to me for reasons I still can't quite fathom, and you continue in that kindness with little reward." The Sagebrush Duke exhaled, tilting his face up so that the morning sun fell across his cheeks. "I'm not your friend, nor should you trust kindness you receive from my hand in turn. I have long been the enemy of your throne, and such enmity doesn't vanish like the morning mists."

"I wouldn't expect it to," I said, returning my gaze to the landscape. It was a beautiful vista, the sunlight on the dissolving mist turning the valley into a fantastical place shrouded by gilded fog. "For what it's worth, I wasn't trying to win you over, or anything. Making you hurt for the sake of looking important just seemed so…" I trailed off, not sure what to say.

Ace looked sidelong at me, lifting one dark brow. "You wear a conqueror's crown, your majesty," he pointed out. "It's common practice to humiliate one's conquered enemies to ensure they understand their place beneath your heel."

I made a sound of disgust.

He snorted a laugh and sighed through his nose, a faint smile touching his mouth. "It is what it is," he said with a flick of his ear.

"What it is, is stupid," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "There's no reason to treat you or the other dukes like enemies. The Omahices may have been conquerors, but Cass and I didn't have shit to do with it, and Vad's been punted off the throne. Whatever legacy the former King intended has been thoroughly quashed."

A bitter expression twisted his handsome face. "The Omahice line has hardly been extinguished. It's not as if King Marys gelded the fallen prince as his predecessor did to us."

All my skin went cold. Tension made my ribs hurt, my heart kicking against its cage. "Gelded," I said, the word clipped. "As in, forcibly sterilized?"

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