Page 133 of Crowned By the Fae King

Long after Vaduin had left, Cass leaned his forehead against mine and asked, "What if it's too late?"

"What if what's too late, sweetheart?" I asked, brushing his hair out of his face.

He let out a sharp breath. "Us. The soulmate bond. It's—we're only supposed to have a year and a day. Liyn said it had been two or three years." Cass made another sharp sound, sucking his breath in through his teeth. "What if it's too late. If we can't—Quyen, what if—if you're always mortal, if, if—" He started trembling, his wings rattling. "Please don't leave. Please, I'll still love you, I promise, I— I know it's strange, but if you—if we—"

I grabbed him by the face before he could fall into a blind panic. "Hey, hey, Cassie, stop, stop, it's okay," I said, sticking my face up in his. "I don't give a fuck if I have wrinkles and gray hair while you're still the hottest fae on the planet, okay? I'm not her. I'm not Dellaphine. I'm not leaving."

His whole body heaved with a wracking sob, but Cass stayed with me, his golden eyes fixed on mine and his panting breath washing across my face.

"I'm not leaving," I said again, stroking my fingers along his face. "Not of my own will. Maybe time will do it, or assassins, or whatever, but I'm not going to do it. If we can't balance and I don't get your immortality, then I'll turn into a tiny cricket Asian lady and you can carry my wizened self around while I chirp at you. I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving," I repeated in a whisper. "You're stuck with me, ông già. Get used to it."

Cass choked out a wet laugh, just like I'd meant him to, his eyes shining with tears but a trembling smile on his face. "You would be a very cute cricket," he rasped. He swallowed, a thick sound, and leaned his forehead against mine again. "Could we maybe spend our fifteenth anniversary somewhere beautiful together?" Cass asked softly, his eyes drifting shut in exhaustion. "Somewhere where it's only us, and I can hold you as long as I please?"

My heart cracked in two, right down the middle. For one moment, hot hatred for his mortal lover spiked under my sternum. How dare she do this to him—replace the inevitable theft of time with her choice to leave? Give him flowers and a written goodbye, not even say it to his face, and vanish from his life forever?

The anger died as soon as it was born, because of course she had. Of course she had. She'd imagined the slow death of love and beauty, and life as an old woman watching her ever-young lover grow more and more distant. Cass had been broken, and he'd never given her the clear-eyed look into his soul that he couldn't help but give to me.

"We could go camping at Tazajah," I said, trying not to cry when another tear tracked down his cheek. My vision blurred, so I closed my eyes, too, pressing closer to him. If we talked about a future – a future fifteen years hence – maybe we could make it real. "I've never been camping before."

He tugged me closer to his body. His fingers stroked along my back in a soothing caress. "Never?"

"Nope, not ever." I pressed my lips against his in a gentle kiss that showed me none of his heart. "I don't count trekking miserably through the woods for weeks as camping. Before that I was a city girl through-and-through, so. Never have I ever."

Cass smiled against my mouth, breathing my air, relaxing into my touch and the future we were dreaming together. "I can't say I've ever gone camping for pleasure. War encampments are rather starkly unpleasant, and before then I was either living in a city or ensconced in the Asklepion Academy. Maybe it would be fun. It would certainly be novel."

"Novel can be fun," I said. "At worst we'll come out of it with stories."

Before Cass could answer, Liyn knocked on the doorframe.

I pushed myself up and gave him a tired smile. "We're good," I said, even though it was far from true. "You can come in."

The healer came over without commentary and took a seat on the bed, reaching over and setting his hand on Cass' bare ankle. Cass shuddered and relaxed, the tension falling out of him as Liyn eased the pain of his damaged channels.

"How's it going?" I asked softly, after he'd been sitting there for a few minutes.

"About as good as can be hoped for," Liyn said, sounding distant, his eyes unfocused. "I'm doing my best to balance speed and suffering. Amplifying the rate of healing also amplifies the pain, and I know it must be difficult to bear, but I want to give Marys a solid chance at keeping his healing."

"Cass," my soulmate corrected. He sounded exhausted.

"I want to give Cass a solid chance," Liyn said. I saw him give Cass' ankle a gentle squeeze in a gesture of comfort. "We don't know why the Court's not feeding him power, or how long it will last. If he gets hit with all that power before he's healed up enough to handle it…"

Cass swallowed, his shoulders hunching. "Can you go faster than this?"

The other healer winced. "I could," he said hesitantly. "It would certainly hurt a great deal more, and I'd probably be useless for days after, so if something else happens you would need to find a new healer. I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"I know the cost," Cass said in a hoarse voice. He shuddered. "I'd rather be blinded by pain than be a magicless beast into eternity. Surely I can withstand a few hours of suffering." Cass paused, then added softly, "If you're willing."

"Of course I'm willing." He blew a breath out. "Is that what you want? It will surely be agonizing."

Another shudder, my soulmate's wings hunching higher. He squeezed his eyes closed, then nodded, letting go of my hand.

Liyn took a deep breath, settling his shoulders back. "Clench your teeth, then, Xarca—Cass. This is going to be deeply unpleasant for us both."

Two Bodies, One Soul

Liyn put one hand on Cass' head and the other on his chest. He let out a shaky breath—and Cass' whole body seized.

The pain was so intense it radiated through the Court into me, freezing the air in my lungs. His wings thrashed, tearing gouges into the mattress and taking chips out of the beams in the ceiling. I shoved myself backwards, out of his range, hitting the floor and snapping my teeth down on my tongue. Tears streamed down my face, something making it through our soul-bond, my whole body reacting to the agony of my soulmate.

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