Page 55 of Siren in the Rain

“Cal, just to be on the safe side, I’m going to have you do a magical scan of our guests when they arrive,” Dallas says.

“Copy that, Cap,” Cal says with a cheeky wink.

Dallas ignores him. “I’ve also hired some additional security to patrol the neighborhood. We’ll have people watching when our guests arrive and if anything seems fishy, they’ll be re-routed. The same security detail that brings your relatives here will also see them safely back to the ferry home. We’ve got all our bases covered.”

“Thanks for taking my mate’s safety so seriously,” I say with the utmost sincerity.

Dallas gets an embarrassed flush on his face. “It’s all part of the job.”

Cal, Ruby, and I give each other knowing looks. He’s already accepted Shae into his family of misfits and will protect him like one of his own.

It’s one of many reasons we all love him to pieces.

“We’ve got a couple of hours before they arrive, so do what you need to do. But be back here by eleven, everyone,” Dallas says, standing and drawing our meeting to a close.

I take the stairs two at a time and return to my mate’s side.

He’s still fast asleep, his breath coming out in soft puffs. In sleep, he looks so young and vulnerable. It tears me apart inside every time I think about all that he’s endured. Yet, despite everything, Shae hasn’t given up or let himself be sucked into the darkness. He’s fighting with everything he has to not simply survive, but to find himself again.

I’m constantly in awe of him.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reach out and gently shake him awake.

He blinks open his gorgeous blue eyes and looks at me in confusion. “What is it?”

His voice is rough with sleep and I smile. “Wanna go for a morning swim before we have to get ready for your relatives?”

He favors me with a rare, brief grin and nods before stretching his long, lean body. When he sits up with a yawn, he looks utterly adorable. His mesmerizing hair is slightly mussed and a grumpy Haku peeks at me with slitted eyes from his perch on Shae’s shoulder.

“I figured you might like the stress relief of a swim.”

I know I need it too.

We share a moment of mutual understanding in silence.

“Yeah, thanks. That sounds great, actually. Let me put on some swim trunks,” Shae says.

I leave him to do that and head to the mudroom to get towels and flip-flops for both of us. In minutes, we’re racing down to the beach and across the sand, then diving into the icy cold Pacific with eager shouts.

We spend a good hour or so in the water, working out our stress by swimming, until we start to tire and decide to head back in. I go to my room to shower while Shae heads to his.

I have to admit, I haven’t spent a lot of time in my own room lately. Sleeping with Shae every night has become the new norm for us. It’s both exquisite pleasure and never-ending torture all at once.

Being able to hold my mate in my arms every night, savoring his sleepy scent and soft skin as he drifts off into dreamland, is pure bliss.

But not being able to explore his body more intimately has my libido gnashing its teeth in frustration. I’m more than willing to let him have full access to my body as well, but sex isn’t on the table for us. At least not yet.

Shae told me he’d never been on a date before, and I don’t know for sure, but I suspect he’s probably never even had sex either. I did ask him some gently probing questions last night as we were falling asleep, and he’d relieved my fears when he assured me that he’d never had to endure any kind of sexual abuse during his captivity.

My body is very eager to get to know his better. Abstinence between fated mates isn’t common. In rare cases of asexuality, both partners usually share the same disinclination toward sex. I don’t get the impression that Shae’s ace. The way he watches me sometimes sets me on fire. I yearn to make love to my mate—and have him make love to me in return. But I know he’s not ready and may never be.

I keep reminding myself of this when I wake up every morning with a rock-solid erection that I have to take care of in the shower. And while my hand gets the job done, it isn’t remotely satisfying when I know my mate’s close by but I can’t touch him that way.

At the same time, however, I’ve noticed that Shae hasn’t woken up with morning wood even once in the time that I’ve shared a bed with him. For a guy his age, that’s odd, and even more so for a guy who’s in close proximity to his mate. Shae gets embarrassed by it and did awkwardly tell me the other day that he hasn’t had any libido since he was forced to wear the collar.

I ended up doing some research online and soon realized that this is likely a temporary consequence of not only Shae’s trauma but possibly the antidepressant that he has been taking.

I’m trying not to take it personally.

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