Page 49 of Siren in the Rain

If I’d had full access to my powers, I might have been able to use my sirensong to hypnotize them, but the collar meant that was never an option. Margaret was always two steps ahead of me in any case and had seemingly hired goons who weren’t swayed by my ineffectual charms.

To be honest, once the collar was placed on me, I sort of lost my emerging libido too. The constant pain it sent through my body pretty much killed any sexual inclinations I might have had, and although the collar’s gone now, I still haven’t exactly gone back to normal. Yes, I find Wolf Boy attractive, but my cock has remained dormant even though Wolf Boy wakes up next to me with a massive erection every morning.

I wince.

Yeah, I guess I seriously owe him this “friend-date” for all the nightly cuddles and the blue balls.

When we arrive at Pacific Park, Griffin and I go ahead first. Dallas and Cal covertly shadow us and keep an eye out for any trouble. Thankfully, in such a large and busy public space, we’re unlikely to encounter any attempts to grab me right out in the open.

At least, I hope that’s the case.

Even though I’m a bit twitchy and regularly scanning my surroundings, I quickly find myself relaxing with the knowledge that Dallas and Cal are looking out for me. I’ve already started to realize that I am beginning to trust this motley crew, aka MEOW Squad.

They’re definitely quirky and weird, but they’re also all strangely likable.

Especially the stupidly sexy and adorable guy who asked me on this date.

I take a deep breath at that last word.

“We’re finally here,” Wolf Boy says, looking about two seconds away from exploding because of the excitement.

I’ve never known someone to be as full of life and enthusiasm as this guy.

It should annoy the bejesus out of me, but it doesn’t for some reason. Instead, it lightens an invisible weight I’ve been carrying inside and makes me want to experience even a fraction of that same optimism and excitement one day.

In all honesty, the most excitement I’ve experienced in the last fifteen years was making my escape from hell. But that adrenaline was probably also from the extreme fear due to the life-and-death stakes at play.

Trying to take the amusement park all in, I stare at the entrance on the pier. I hate to admit it, but Wolf Boy chose well. With the ocean backdrop and the scent of the sea in the air, I feel at ease here.

Given that today’s a weekday, the place’s probably much less busy than it would be on a weekend. Wolf Boy purchases our tickets and hands me mine with a ridiculously cute grin, popping that damn dimple at me again.

“Let’s have all the fun today.” He’s beaming so brightly that he’s more blinding than the colorful signs and lights for all the attractions.

My lips twitch and I’m surprised when I favor him with a faint smile. “You’ll have to show me the ropes. I’ve never done this before.”

With all the giddy enthusiasm of a little kid, Griffin takes hold of my hand and drags me around the park. We hop from ride to ride, doing the roller coaster first and then moving on to several of the thrill rides.

While I enjoy them all immensely, I strangely find myself studying Wolf Boy and his reactions more often than not.

His pure-hearted, open enjoyment of everything he does is captivating. He has a zest for life that I long for.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to be alive and free, but there are parts of me that are still numb, maybe even dead forever. It’s like I’ve lost emotional phantom limbs that I don’t remember.

I long to feel as deeply as Wolf Boy does.

Dr. Greenwater keeps reminding me that I need to give myself time—time to process and time to reconnect with parts of myself that shut down to survive. Now that I’m free, it’s hard though. For so long, I didn’t have even the faintest hope of anything for myself. I don’t think my mind was able to think farther than trying to escape my circumstances. But now that I’ve done that, I need to envision what comes next for me.

I was reluctant to start doing the journaling that Dr. Greenwater recommended, but I quickly found I enjoy it more than I expected. Just putting down my thoughts and feelings on the page each day has been cathartic. My writings regularly alternate between rage, sorrow, confusion, and recently, burgeoning hope.

For today, I’ve given myself a pep talk to focus on living in the moment and enjoying myself in the here and now. Honestly, I think it would be hard for anyone not to enjoy themselves while spending time with Griffin. He’s so exuberant and lively, you can’t help but get sucked into his orbit.

Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself as I willfully try to ignore the fated-mates stuff—even though it gets harder by the day.

Let’s not go there. Today is just about today.

A little after noon, we decide to take a lunch break, and true to his word, Griffin gets us corn dogs and cotton candy.

I manage to eat one corn dog in the time it takes him to scarf down three. In the short while that I’ve known them, I’ve realized both Wolf Boy and Dallas have very hearty appetites.

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