Page 42 of Siren in the Rain

I feel a faint prickling at the corner of my eyes and I’m startled. I haven’t cried in years. I was convinced I’d lost the ability—and maybe I have, because the prickling goes away and my eyes remain dry.

“I loved my mom more than anything. And when she died, my world became dark and dreary, full of never-ending loneliness and pain.” I glare at Dr. Greenwater. “Why would I want to go through any of that again?”

“Love can be painful. It hurts to lose those we care about, but love can also be beautiful and wondrous. You love Haku, don’t you?”

I instinctively reach up and pet my best friend, who nuzzles his little dragon face into my neck in reply and makes a contented rumbling noise.

“Of course I do. But Haku is different.”

She cocks her head. “In what way?”

I think about that for a minute, suspecting this is a trap. “Well, he’s bonded to me for life. He’s my best friend and he’s been with me through everything. There’s no one I trust more than Haku.”

The tiny drake steps forward onto my shoulder and makes a trilling noise of satisfaction as he puffs out his chest.

I chuckle.

Dr. Greenwater gives us both a beautiful smile. “Your relationship is wonderful, and I think Haku was a crucial factor in your ability to survive for so many years in the circumstances you were trapped in. However, maybe consider the notion that there could be others out there worthy of your love and trust, people who could reciprocate just as well as Haku.”

I snort. “I sincerely doubt it.”

Dr. Greenwater gives me a small, secretive smile. “I’m not trying to preach to you here. But I do think it’s healthy to open yourself up to new connections with others. It isn’t just you and Haku trapped in that cell anymore. There’s a whole wide world ahead of you, and new people to meet and happy new memories to make. All I ask is that you give yourself that chance. I don’t want you retreating inward in an unhealthy manner.”

I hear what she’s saying and even though I’m scared, I want to make up for lost time and experience things I never got the chance to before.

Dr. Greenwater looks at her watch. “Our time is nearly up. I’d like to see you again soon. My suggestion is that we have sessions at least two to three times a week as you are acclimating to your new life. We can taper off once things level out for you.”

While I’m not thrilled by that idea, I nod reluctantly. If it’s something that can help me take control of my life again, then I’ll keep doing it.

“I’d also like you to start journaling at least once a day,” Dr. Greenwater says.

I blink at her. “Journaling?”

“Yes. It can be a useful technique to help you process things we discuss and whatever you’re dealing with on a daily basis. I’m going to leave this fairly open-ended for you, but I want you to spend thirty minutes a day writing in your journal. You can write about things that you’re enjoying now, worries or questions that you have, maybe even dreams that you’ve been trying to work through. Anything, really, that comes to mind. And some of them will be things that we can potentially talk about in our sessions, but this is primarily a tool to help you work through the past as well as the present, and start believing in the future.”

“I can try,” I agree begrudgingly.

She stands and reaches out her hand to shake mine. I also get to my feet and shake the proffered hand firmly. “Thank you for coming all the way out here.”

“It was my pleasure, Shae. I only want to help you, and I hope that, if you have questions about your siren side and don’t feel you can talk with your grandmother or other relatives, you’ll feel comfortable to ask me. I’m happy to try and answer to the best of my ability.” She squeezes my hand and lets go. “Remember, you’re not alone. You’ve ended up in a good place here. I’ve known Dallas for a long time. He and his ragamuffin crew are a bit eccentric, I know, but they’re all good people—and devoted to aiding Otherkind who’ve been mistreated and abused. They’ll help you get on your feet and to a place where you can start thinking about what you want for your life moving forward.”

After Dr. Greenwater leaves, I brew myself some tea and retreat to my room. She had prepared everyone in advance, letting them know that therapy sessions can be quite draining so they should allow me space afterward to be on my own for a while.

I’m grateful she did so because I hadn’t realized how true it was.

Griffin watched my every movement in the kitchen as I prepared my tea, his ears and tail drooping. It was obvious he wanted to glom onto me, but I’m glad he didn’t.

I simply gave everyone a faint smile and told them I would be in my room for a little while, and they gave me space.

I sit on my bed and pull out a notebook and a pen. Thinking about what Dr. Greenwater mentioned, I take the first leap in trying to journal some of my thoughts and feelings.

Chapter

Ten

Griff: What detergent do surfers use to wash their wetsuits?

Ruby: It’s too early in the morning for this, just so you know.

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