Page 40 of Siren in the Rain

She gives me a small smile. “I have met Mr. McIntyre and I do believe I understand what you mean.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “Right?! I mean, the guy is like some kind of adorable cartoon plushie come to life. He has this perky, happy-go-lucky personality that ought to drive me utterly bonkers, yet I find myself instinctively drawn to it.”

And him.

Dr. Greenwater’s lips twitch with amusement. “So you enjoyed cuddling with him?”

I feel my cheeks warm.

Fuck yes, I did.

Griffin McIntyre is a cuddling genius. But I’ll never admit that to him or anyone else.

“I guess so,” I grumble. “It was nice to know that I was safe. I felt like I could truly relax my guard for once.” I look down at my lap and mumble, “So, uh, he’s kind of been climbing into bed with me every night to cuddle.”

Dr. Greenwater’s eyes widen behind her glasses. “Indeed?”

I hold up a hand to forestall any deeper meaning being read into this. “For the record, it’s not what you’re thinking. Our cuddling is completely platonic.” Let’s not mention the conspicuous morning boners. “He just cuddles me and stays with me while we sleep.”

Dr. Greenwater taps a finger on her chin. “I see. However, this is also the same young man who claims to be your fated mate, correct?”

I cringe. “That’s what he says, but I don’t trust in that kind of thing.”

“Because of your mother?”

Agitation rises in me. “Of fucking course. I saw all the ways having a fated mate can go wrong. It isn’t some perfect fairy-tale ending for everyone. Besides, I don’t want to have to rely on anyone but myself, and I sure as shit don’t want to be tied to another person in a way that curtails my hard-won freedom.”

Dr. Greenwater considers this for a moment. “It’s perfectly understandable that you have these sentiments toward being a fated mate. Have you tried talking with Griffin about this though?”

I look away again. “Not really. I told him flat out that I didn’t believe in that crap, but he’s still sticking to me like glue. For now, he told me he wants me to focus on healing from what I’ve been through. But I don’t like the idea of stringing him along, even though I like having him around. There’s something about him that makes me feel safe. I just don’t think I can ever give him what he wants.”

And the idea of hurting Griffin rubs me the wrong way.

Once, a very long time ago, I’d been trusting and hopeful just like him, naively believing the best in people. Then I experienced the cold, dark truth.

For reasons I don’t like to consider too closely, I don’t want to be the one to shatter that illusion for Griffin. And selfishly, I don’t want to lose him from my life either.

The whole situation is messed up and so is my fucking head.

Dr. Greenwater hums to herself in thought. “Many relationships begin as friendships. Perhaps, rather than focusing on the fated-mate situation, you could try developing a friendship with Griffin first and see where it might go?”

I hesitate. “Is that fair to him though? Especially if, in the end, I can’t accept this bond he believes we share.”

“Maybe let Griffin decide about that. He is an adult and can make his own choices. I suspect he is willing to take anything you are prepared to give him, even if it is only friendship, but he must be allowed to make that decision himself. For most Otherkind, fated mates is serious business. Griffin is already devoted to you in ways you may not fully understand or even want to accept.”

I sigh and lean back in my patio chair. I can’t deny what she’s saying, but I also don’t know how to deal with it. If I could just cut ties with Griffin, that would make things so much easier. The coldly rational side of my mind tells me it’s what I should do. But the rest of me revolts at the very notion.

Will my life ever not be complicated? I feel like a whiny, angsty little emo asshole, and I fucking hate it.

“I’m pleased to hear that Griffin has been able to help you sleep, and I would encourage you to keep up your nightly cuddling as long as it continues to work. Getting proper sleep is a critical part to healing your mind and helping bring your body out of its constant survival mode. It will take some time to reset your system, so just listen to your instincts in the meantime.”

Okay, I have an official doctor’s order to keep up nightly cuddle fests with Griffin. That makes me a lot less anxious about it.

Dr. Greenwater looks at the clipboard in her lap before turning her gaze back on me. “Let’s talk a little bit about your maternal siren relatives. Dallas tells me that MEOW Squad has made contact with your mother’s sept and is in the process of coordinating a meeting with your grandmother. How do you feel about that?”

I arch an eyebrow at her and scowl. “How the hell do you think I feel?”

She fixes me with her steady, unflinching gaze, and I run a hand through my hair.

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