Page 93 of Null & Void

“What other women?” he angrily whispers.

I try to get around him again, but this time he grabs my face in his hands, engulfing my head easily. Before I have time to struggle away from him, he’s leaning down to my eye level, and gently repeats himself. “What other women?”

“I’ve seen you with them. Sneaking into their rooms in the middle of the night.”

He makes a frustrated sound. “Yes, okay. Once, but that was before. I won’t apologize for being with women before you.” He frowns, using his grip on my face to bring me closer to him as he straightens up, maintaining eye contact. “As I told you in that cave, you’ve done something to me.”

The memory of him leaving the room of the beautiful Erduborn woman in the middle of the night, as she held his face after he kissed her cheek, crashes hard inside my chest along with my rage. I want to scream until I have no breath left in me and my throat is raw. My rage reminds me how pathetic and weak I am for letting him get this close again. Closer.

Jaena’s cruel laughter echoes in my ears.

Shaking my head, as much as I can when two giant hands are holding it, I say, “Not just before.” I grab onto his empty weapons harness to push him away. “So, you’re a liar too. Let go of me, Riley.”

I slam against him with my fists holding the harness to push him away from me, but his hands only drop to my shoulders as he opens his mouth to say something.

“It doesn’t matter anyway!” I get in first. “We aren’t bonded. I don’t have your heart and you don’t have mine. We’re nothing. You can lie, sneak around and fuck everyone else. Just continue to do whatever you like Riley. I. Don’t. Care. You’re just the drunk prince and I’m the monster you bought.”

I try to give him the most hateful and vicious look I can, as I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. My heart feels like it is just vibrating now, not even bothering to beat.

He falters for a moment, a flicker of emotions scrolling over his face. Our eyes are still locked as he starts shaking his head. “No. I don’t know what this is, what you’re trying to do right now, but no.”

I snarl like the beast I am. I can’t breathe. The edges of my vision are swimming.

“I have never lied to you!” he says, his voice beginning to rise.

Snarling again, I go for another shove. “Then who was the Erduborn woman you snuck around with in Waadi, mere hours after trying to fuck me? Or is that considered before?”

Confusion and then recognition dawns on Riley’s face as I hear a rap on the door. It quietly begins to open, with Eryn chanting, “Please don’t be naked,” with his eyes firmly squeezed shut.

CHAPTER FORTY

Eryn opens one eye to look around the room and sees us near the wall beside his bed. “Thank Divine,” he breathes, before tiptoeing in and closing the door behind him.

I look back to Riley, who still has hold of my shoulders and hasn’t looked away. I let go of his weapons harness and push his arms away. This time he doesn’t resist. Wrapping myself in a blanket from Eryn’s bed, I walk toward the young prince.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I don’t think we should take much longer as we still need to decide what to do about the hatches. Did you discover anything else?” Eryn says to me in a normal tone but with a confused and concerned look on his face. As I’m about to answer, Eryn mouths, “Are you okay?”.

I give him a tight nod and launch into a brief update on what Tovi and I found.

Riley apologizes to Eryn, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry, Eryn, I really thought you were making shit up when you said both Tovi and Mika were here.”

Eryn narrows his eyes at Riley, apparently not believing I’m okay and correctly assuming that Riley has something to do with it.

I speak quickly, not wanting an altercation between these two males. “Tovi doesn’t fit, so it’s just been me exploring. It might just be something to do with the water piped through to each washroom. I can try to find the doxy washroom, but it’s hard to hear if anyone is in the rooms of the hatches I find.”

“Bitty,” Riley offers. “Bitty is closest in size to you, and they’d be able to hear exactly what’s going on.”

“Maybe we can get…?” Eryn fumbles over which pronoun to use as both Riley and I say “them” in unison.

“Right, thank you. Maybe we can get them here and try to find a way down to you from my rooms?” Eryn finishes, not taking his narrowed eyes off Riley.

“I think that could work!” I say a little too cheerfully.

I risk a peek at Riley, as I’ve kept my eyes on Eryn the whole time, only to find that his intent gaze is on me. I’m embarrassed by the immediate sting of tears in my eyes, and I hope Riley doesn’t notice. Or Eryn, for that matter. I have to get out of here right now. The need to break something, snap something, punch anything, is beginning to overwhelm me. My skin itches painfully with tension.

“I have to get back to Tovi. You’re right, Eryn. It’s been too long,” I say far too quickly. Eryn tries to say something, but I keep going. “You guys work it out with Bitty, and I guess we’ll know if they can reach us when the Laguzborn is jumping into our washroom,” I finish with an awkward laugh.

Not able to spend a moment longer with the raging tornado in my chest, Eryn’s concern, or Riley’s…Riley-ness, I march for the door.

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