Page 84 of Null & Void

I poke my head into his bedroom and see him standing with his back to me, looking out the window. I walk in and close the door, wanting to keep another layer of sound between us and possible listening ears.

As soon as the door snips shut, Eryn runs at me, enveloping me in a hug and almost throwing me off my feet.

“What…” I manage to get out before he’s apologizing desperately.

“I’m so sorry, Mika. And your friend. I didn’t think. I panicked. I wanted to help. I’m so sorry. Is she okay? Are you okay? Please, I hope you’re okay.” The words are tumbling out of his mouth at rapid speed while he clings to me.

I push him off me gently to see his red-rimmed eyes and panicked face. He’s genuinely distraught. I keep my arms on his shoulders, partly to keep him from hugging me again, and also to give him a modicum of comfort.

“Eryn. What are you talking about? You not only stopped me and my friend from possibly being executed by your father, but you have given us the best chance we have to save the Princess Ofnemoris. Your father believed every word, and you fooled Lylle, too.”

Eryn’s eyes start to well with tears, so I pause what probably sounds like a lecture. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Now is not the time for rage. When I open them again, one of the tears escapes and tracks down his face, and he looks down, a slight tremble in his lip.

I’m not sure why I do it—something about this kid has burrowed its way under my skin— but I use one hand to wipe his tear and the other to lift his chin. He won’t meet my eye right now, though I realize distractedly that the reluctance I usually have is absent when I look into Eryn’s eyes.

They’re kind eyes, the reddy brown of a hot sunset in Erdu. Eryn’s olive skin is a little pale, like he needs more sun. Dark brown lashes, long and full, are glistening from the tears he’s so ashamed of. He’s a good-looking kid, with a strong brow and jaw, a wide mouth full of straight white teeth, and a small, pointed nose. It’s all wrapped up in an innocence so endearing that it’s slightly concerning.

“You know you’re my hero, right? Eryn, you saved my life,” I say softly, trying to get through to him.

He gasps because he’s been holding his breath. “I just felt so guilty. I couldn’t do nothing, but I didn’t know what to do!” he says through hiccups.

“You did everything right.” I smile at him. He pulls me into another hug, and I let him. He grips onto me and I hold him until his breathing returns to normal, and he eventually loosens his embrace.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and I’m about to admonish him again when he follows with, “I mean, about this, my reaction. Is the Erduborn woman okay? Is she really your friend?”

Grateful for the change in subject, I walk us over to his bed so we can sit down.

“Yes, a strange coincidence that ended up working out well. She’s okay, now, once I was able to tell her that you were my friend.”

“We’re friends?”

“Do you often risk your life and then snotty cry on people who aren’t your friends?” I tease as he side-eyes me with a little smirk. “Though she wasn’t convinced when she saw my outfit for tonight.”

“Oh Divine, you’re basically naked!” he says with legitimate disgust, finally looking at me. “Gross!” he finishes and throws a blanket at me.

That did it. I laugh so hard tears begin to overflow, and I have to lie down on his bed to breathe because it’s hurting my ribs.

“Thank you for the confidence boost,” I reply between gasps of laughter.

“Not to add insult to injury, but you seem unhinged today.”

Wiping my tears, I nod. “Oh, I know. The hinges fell off many revolutions past, I’m afraid.” Eryn widens his eyes, shaking his head. Finally calming down from my hysterical release, I add, “Have you told anyone about me since that night?”

“You mean, the night you came to kidnap me and then almost killed me because I threw a pillow at you?” I feint a punch to his ribs, which earns me a lopsided grin. “No. Not even my ex-boyfriend who I tell almost everything.” I relax, the part of me that thought perhaps this young prince wasn’t savvy enough to keep a secret, relieved. “Now you have a secret of mine, so we’re even,” Eryn adds to the lengthening silence.

“Your father doesn’t know you prefer men?”

“I don’t actually have a preference. Boy, girl, both, neither. But he certainly wouldn’t have approved of me having a boyfriend.” He shrugs.

I narrow my eyes at him. “Why then, young prince, am I so disgusting?”

“Because you’re old?” he replies, with a look on his face that suggests I asked a stupid question. “And you’re my friend, so I don’t want to see—” he gestures at my body, “—that.”

“Smooth recovery,” I say wryly. “What about his male doxies? Is the king that much of a hypocrite?” I ask, getting the topic back on track.

Eryn looks at me like I’ve grown another head. “He doesn’t have male doxies. He once caught two stable boys kissing, and they weren’t even on duty, but he cut off an ear each and sent them to opposite sides of the country to work.”

Shocked at the brutality, I don’t want to bring up the purchasing of male Nulls to yet another person who denied their existence. Either the king is so ashamed of being with men that it’s a secret even from his own son, or something else more sinister is at play. I fear it’s the latter.

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