Page 56 of Null & Void

“What happened to her…body?” I choke out.

“We buried her. We got you here and then we took turns in twos going back to dig the hole to bury her. We threw the rest of the fuckers in a pile and burned them.”

“I want to see her grave.”

“We thought you might. It’s a few hours’ walk, but maybe we can borrow a horse and I’ll take you.”

“Today?”

“Tomorrow.”

I nod. I don’t think I could handle a horse ride today anyway, not even a gentle one. Riley is still holding my foot, and it’s bizarrely comforting.

One solitary tear slips down my cheek and I use my shoulder to wipe it away, hissing with the pain in my ribs I keep forgetting about. Riley gets up, the anger I could see earlier is beginning to look like something else. Something that looks like pain.

“Were you hurt?”

“No. Not really. Everyone, including Bitty, got a few cuts, bumps, and bruises. But nothing serious.”

“Then why do you look like you’re in pain?” I ask, watching him pace between the beds.

He sighs, looking at me long enough that my rage begins to swirl deep in my belly. “It’s not pain. Or it is, but it’s…” Riley gestures at nothing, eventually crossing his arms to stand in front of me, frowning.

Why does he look confused?

He lets out a sharp breath, steps forward quickly, and leans down to me. The back of his fingers brush along my cheek until his hand grips the side of my neck and shoulder. He leans down and kisses the side of my forehead softly. “Just promise me, you won’t…die,” he whispers, leaving his lips against my skin for a moment longer, as he shudders a breath in.

Without saying anything more, he moves away as quickly as he came and leaves the room. I can see his shadow under the door. The confusion is wholly my own now.

I sleep on and off most of the day, Riley hovering and swapping with Beans every now and then. Beans joins me for a lunch of cold roast duck sandwiches on fresh bread with slatherings of butter. In the afternoon, Bitty brings me a cup of hot cacote that I greedily gulp down, finishing quickly.

I’m sick of sleeping but I know it’s what I need to recover. I may not have broken ribs anymore, but my body is still battered and bruised. I am also ravenous. Everything the trio feeds me, I inhale.

Beans brings a hearty beef stew with crusty bread for dinner. I try to tell him I’m okay to eat alone and that he can enjoy dinner with the other two, but he says he would prefer quieter company.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue,” I say to our silent dinner.

Beans gives me a wild look, one eyebrow rising while the other hides under the bandage. “I do believe it was you who saved my life. I think we’re even.”

“You wouldn’t have even?—”

Beans sets his bowl down with a huff. “I don’t know who or what has made you think that you wouldn’t be worthy of your friends coming to rescue you, but I won’t tolerate it. I won’t tolerate you treating yourself with any less respect than you deserve.”

I frown at my food as the rest of the meal is eaten in silence.

A snort wakes me in the morning, and I look over to Riley’s bed. He’s lying on his side facing me, trying—and failing—to hide the grin on his face. The residue of a snort sits in the back of my nose…it was me. I snorted myself awake.

“Morning, Firecat. Sleep well?” he asks, then yawns through his smile.

“I’m not used to having to sleep on my back,” I grumble, addressing the snort though he didn’t actually mention it.

“You snore on your side too, so that’s a lie,” Riley tries to joke.

“I’m not the liar around here,” I quip. “When can I see Sweet Girl’s grave?”

Riley stretches noisily. “As soon as we’ve eaten, we can go.”

I sit up too fast and then float back down with a groan.

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