Page 53 of Null & Void

I look up at him, angry he’s speaking to me this way. I don’t care that he is the fucking Prince Ofnemoris.

He looks furious. His face is red, his eyes bloodshot, and a frown creases his brow as his forearm muscles bulge from gripping the bed head so tightly. There is a sheen of sweat on his prickly-looking skin.

I’m about to ask what the fuck his problem is when Bitty crashes through the door. “You’re awake!” they cry. They stop short of jumping into the bed with me, but their beaming dimpled smile and glistening eyes say it all. “I couldn’t sleep, but when I heard your voice, I thought I was dreaming!”

“Good to see you in the land of the living, Mika,” comes Beans’ booming voice as he enters the room behind Bitty. “Wouldn’t have been able to handle Riley’s cooking in your absence.” Beans’ head is bandaged, his right eye and cheekbone a dark blue.

“He’s learned a thing or two,” I jest, smiling at the two people I realize I don’t mind I’ve come to care about. I chance a peek at Riley, but his mood is unchanged. Is he annoyed they had to rescue me, or that I woke up?

All that’s missing is…“Where’s Tovi?” I blurt. I need to confirm. If she’s here, then it was a lie. Right?

“She was just…” Bitty’s voice trails off as they frown toward the door. “Huh.”

“You need to get her. Bring her here, right now.” My voice is tight and screechy. I’m looking at all three of them, eyes darting between as they stare at me, puzzled and unmoving.

Beans backs toward the door. “What’s wrong?” he asks, leaning out and looking down the hall.

“She’s not…I can’t hear her,” Bitty announces, confused, as they move to look down the hall.

Shouting and a crash outside startles all of us. Beans and Bitty run down the hall while Riley lunges for his sword and stands between me and the exit.

“What’s happening?” I ask Riley, my voice hoarse and painful. He’s either ignoring me or too focused on the commotion to hear me.

Beans walks back in after a few minutes with a frown, Bitty right behind him with a confused and crestfallen look on their face. Beans closes the door and tells Riley he can stand down.

“Why did you want Tovi?” Beans demands.

“What happened, where is she?” Riley asks before I can answer.

Beans doesn’t reply, doesn’t even look at Riley, his full attention on me.

“They told me it was her. Everything. The rumor at Teorann. The kidnapping. But she was here, she helped save me!” I cry, pleading with Beans, begging to the Divine that he’ll tell me they lied.

“She took off on a horse. Her pack is gone.”

“Get out,” I breathe, not looking at anyone in particular. When no one moves, I shout it over and over until Beans and Bitty leave. Riley gets to the door and closes it behind them, not leaving. The pain in my ribs is a radiating agony.

“Get out, Riley!” I scream into a gasp, unable to suck air into my lungs.

She betrayed me.

I was kidnapped, beaten, starved, and almost raped because of her. Beans almost died. Sweet Girl did die. Because. Of. Her!

My hands fist into the sheets, tensing so hard my ribs scream along with my rage. I’m holding my breath. I can’t cry. I won’t cry.

I might have been able to talk myself away from the ledge if Riley hadn’t crawled into the bed behind me, his legs on either side of me. One arm circles under mine, gently crossing my ribs as the other wraps over the top. His massive hand rests across my heart, almost spanning my chest and shoulder, too.

He gently pulls me back into him, and I can’t fight him. I have nothing left. No rage. No fight. I am a crushed vessel.

Hugging me gently, his breath gently tickles my neck. I’m gasping, as he tightens his grip and cuddles into me. Still gentle enough that it’s only my erratic breathing causing me pain.

“I’ve got you now,” Riley whispers.

I unravel.

Two decades of trauma come flooding out in ragged, heaving wails. I scream instead of breathing out. I whimper instead of breathing in.

I cry for the Mika who was told she should never cry again after having to murder the snowolf pup Jaena had given her in some sick empathy lesson.

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