Page 16 of Null & Void

Riley is asleep in a chair, and Bitty and Beans are outside, huddled together under a blanket, pointing at the stars. The stars. I hadn’t realized it was so late. It makes me a little sad to think of leaving in the morning. Bitty and Beans’ casual affection catches me off guard. Not that Beans doesn’t seem the type, in fact, something about him screamed paternal even before I’d seen him with Bitty. But his big hulking mass and deep voice are at odds with the small, whispered giggles and relaxed cuddling.

“Would you like a cup of tea, my sweet?” asks a hushed voice.

“That would be lovely, uh, sorry, I don’t actually know your name?”

“You can call me Mama Beryl, or just Mama,” she says, winking at me and giving my arm a squeeze.

When we’re both settled on the opposite ends of a sofa—Riley softly snoring, Bitty and Beans’ whispers drifting in, Tovi laughing with Frankie while she sews—we sigh in unison. The slight crackle of the fire, the only light in the room, makes it all very…homely. Especially with a hot cup of tea in my hands.

“Thank you for opening your home to me,” I say quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace.

“Oh child, you are welcome here anytime. I mean it, if you’re ever in trouble, you come here.” Mama is so insistent and waits for me to agree, so I nod.

“Can I ask how you found Beans, or if he found you?”

Mama smiles ruefully, setting her cup aside so she can speak animatedly with her hands. “I knew when his coming-of-age season would be, so we waited and waited to see the announcement, but it never came. His father and I thought he must have died. Of course, we didn’t know what he looked like or what his name was, but we attended every single sale of a Nemorisborn man.

“Then one day, during a market while Frankie was selling her leatherwork, we see him. He was carrying a small Laguzborn Patron in his arms. The kid wouldn’t let go of him as he ambled about the markets buying different wares.”

Mama wipes a tear on her sleeve and reaches for my hand to hold it. I contemplate snatching it away but…I don’t. Her hand is soft, and I let her hold it as she continues her story.

“Frankie saw him first, and she went as white as a ghost, her wild orange hair looking like gold on fire. When I finally see what she’s looking at, it’s a man with the exact same hair, the exact same features, but as tall as their father. I sobbed, and so did Frankie. We stood there watching him move about with little Bitty clinging to him.

“We were whispering to ourselves that it’s him and how much he looks like Frankie and their father when Bitty’s head pops up and looks directly at us.” She laughs, opening her eyes wide and shaking her head.

“Bitty heard you!” I hiss with excitement.

“Yes, but at the time, and actually for many more revolutions, we didn’t know that their Gift was hearing!” Mama says with a good squeeze to my hand, continuing. “Bitty somehow communicated to Crissy to be let down and then tugged him to us. His face when he saw us…He knew straight away, just as we did.” I hold back my smile at Mama’s nickname for Beans.

“We informed Queen Neo, and she submitted a bid for him, angered that he was never announced despite his Junky status. Both he and Bitty moved in here. Crissy joined the army after a couple of revs, while Frankie and I helped to raise Bitty. Crissy only came home for a few days each moon. The only time Bitty spoke in those first few revs was when he came home. It was a bittersweet moment when Bitty went back to Osraed as a fully-fledged young Patron. Our queen promised that a deal would be made for them at their coming-of-age. To return home to us.”

It’s such a beautiful story, but I can feel myself getting sleepy. The side of my head rests on the back of the sofa, my eyes heavy, and I’m toasty warm.

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed, child.” Mama drags me up, shows me where I can wash, and says she will leave some fresh bedding out for me. I thank her and do as I’m told.

Crawling into bed, my eyes are barely open. Tovi is already out cold, and Riley is still asleep in the sitting room. I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow.

A dip in the bed startles me awake, and I sit up, reaching for the weapons I’m no longer wearing around my wrists. But it’s only Riley, crawling into my bed, drunk.

“Riley, this isn’t your bed.”

He’s sitting on the end of the bed and turns to look at me, like really look at me. He reaches toward my face but falls forward because I’m too far away. Slumping along my legs with a weird, breathless chuckle.

“You have a—mmn…face,” he slurs.

“Yes Riley, I have a face. Now get out of my bed.”

Rolling onto his back, head now in my lap, he looks up at me. He reaches out and twirls a piece of my hair around his fingers. I’m staring down at him frozen, confused, and slightly too warm. The swirling flutter of rage begins to beat around my rib cage telling me to kick him off. He drops his hand, humming slightly, before closing his eyes.

And he’s asleep instantly. In my lap. I try to shove him off to no avail. Managing to at least get out from under him, I take my pillow and climb into his bed, throwing his pillow back at him. He doesn’t even flinch.

It turns out we need another day. We have to replenish our supplies and reorganize ourselves to travel on foot. I currently don’t have any boots because Frankie is modifying them, so I stay behind with her and Mama while the others go to a nearby market.

The three of us have breakfast together, a delicious meal of oats and fresh pink currants. Simple yet divine, especially with a hot cup of birch leaf tea. We sit in companionable silence, eating and drinking as the fog rolls over the mountain ranges and through the dense forest. I would have liked to have seen one of the black sand beaches, but they’re too far west from here. Next time, I hope.

The rest of the day is spent being fitted for all of Frankie’s leather creations and helping Mama to cook and bake. The women cackle constantly, clearly enjoying each other’s company. Riley was right—I’m being mothered and smothered and yet…I don’t hate it. Their forced affections set my teeth on edge and rage uncoils in warning, but otherwise, it doesn’t feel…wrong.

They both have the same dark green eyes as Beans, so dark that it's almost hard to distinguish between iris and pupil. Also, like Beans, they’re covered head to toe in freckles on slightly pink skin. If Beans is in his early forties, it means Frankie must be in her mid to late forties. Mama must be in her sixties, though she looks and moves as if she’s still her daughter’s age.

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