Page 23 of Null & Void

He nods, dropping his hands, before swaying slightly and running to the nearest tree to vomit up his meager lunch. I stand there awkwardly, not wanting to leave him alone but not wanting to get any closer to him while he’s so vulnerable.

When he finally stops his retching and leans against the tree, wiping his arm across his mouth with eyes closed, I approach him.

“Are you okay?”

His eyes pop open. “No.”

I nod, that was a stupid question. “What’s wrong?”

He lets out a long and steadying breath through his nose as he fixes his intent stare—returned from wherever it had retreated the last few days—back on me.

“I cannot say to you that it is nothing. But neither do I want to tell you.”

Oh. Of course he isn’t going to tell me what’s wrong or why he’s not okay. We aren’t friends. I give him a tight smile, nodding as though I understand, and turn to leave. He snatches my hand and whirls me back to face him, the heat instantly triggering the rage deep inside me as he circles his thumb on the back of it.

“I just…don’t want to burden you.” He swallows and leans his head back, giving my hand one more stroke. “Thank you for this.” He lets go gently.

I nod, again, as if that is the only thing I can do, and he can’t even see it as his eyes are closed again. I leave him to it, returning to the cave. Once inside, Tovi pins me with a withering glare, looking behind me for Riley, I assume.

“Where is he?” she demands.

Raising an eyebrow at her tone, I gesture with my thumb behind me. Off she stalks, into the rain to see for herself. I frown and look over at the other two, who give me shrugs and wide eyes. It’s not long before Riley and Tovi return, changing from their wet clothes as I did when I came back. The silence from everyone is deafening.

Finally, after two more nights of extreme downpours, sunshine breaks through, and we’re back on the move. The sun sparkles in the sky, a perfect blue with not a cloud in sight.

Riley looks good. The dark circles under his eyes are not as dark, and his hands no longer shake, nor do they clench with every breath he takes. Tovi won’t leave his side, so I don’t go near either of them. During our stop for lunch, he gives me a nod and a small smile, trying to hold my eye before I look away. I have not been alone with Riley since our sparring session, Tovi is making sure of that.

Later, while the other three are preoccupied, Tovi approaches me. “Riley told me what you did for him the other day,” she states matter-of-factly.

I pause, crouched on the ground in front of a patch of fresh mint, and raise an eyebrow.

She clears her throat, looking over my head. “Thank you,” she says with reluctance, clouding the sentiment.

“Why?” I ask. Why is she thanking me for helping Riley?

Her eyes narrow at me, the violet of her eyes looking every bit Divine with their ethereal glow. I don’t get an answer.

We stop for camp the next night, and Riley asks if we can spar. I don’t even get a chance to respond before Bitty excitedly answers yes for me.

It’s different than the time by the cave. Riley is different this time. Without weapons—and at seemingly full capacity—he’s hard to beat. He’s much stronger than I am, and it doesn’t matter how quick I am, I can only take a few hits from him.

I get a few decent kicks in that are stronger than my punches. His lip is split, and so is mine, neither of which stops the fight, thankfully. I force Riley to the ground a few times, but he doesn’t stay down for long, though he never manages to knock me off my feet.

Fighting to win instead of fighting to kill is hard. I know many ways I could have beaten Riley by now, but I lose the fight when I swing a kick at his head in frustration. Not only does he manage to stop it, but he holds on. As soon as I see the smirk bloom on his face, I know exactly what he’s going to do. He yanks my leg up so hard that my other comes off the ground, and I am dangling in the air upside down.

“I’ll save you the further embarrassment of dropping you on your head, Firecat,” Riley purrs at me. He puts me down gently.

“Who are you calling Firecat?” I spit.

“You. Definitely you. Small, deadly, and mostly annoying. Basically, a teeny tiny bag of claws and teeth that spits fire. And you even have the same color hair as firecat fur!” he says in triumph, as if that proves his point.

I’m still sitting on the ground so I trip him, and he lands on his backside. I have a blade to his throat before he has a chance to move.

“I’ll show you a Firecat,” I growl. My rage starts bubbling in my chest as if Riley had summoned it by speaking its name.

“You just proved my point, I think,” Riley says, with not even a shred of concern about the knife I have against the lifeblood line in his neck. “This was fun. I’ll have to fight Bitty—figuratively, of course—to spar with you each evening.”

True to his word, every night, I spar with one of them. Even Tovi and Beans get in on it. The five of us stop an hour—sometimes two—early each day so we can all spar before it gets dark enough for someone to go on watch.

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