Page 13 of Garden of Ashes & Hope

Everything I'm not.

The realization hits me like a physical blow: I'm growing attached. To Eve, to Vincent, to this strange little family we've cobbled together.

I clench my fists, angry at myself for this weakness.

Attachment gets you killed. Caring gets you hurt. I know this. I've lived it.

But as I look at Eve's sleeping form, I can't quite bring myself to regret it.

9

EVE

My whole body trembles as we put distance between us and... and what just happened. The image of Mordakus transforming, becoming something terrifying and brutal, keeps flashing through my mind. I hold Vincent close, burying my face in his soft fur, trying to calm my racing heart.

We've been walking for hours in complete silence. Mordakus leads the way, his back straight and tense, not once looking back at me. I want to say something, anything, to break this awful quiet, but my throat feels tight, the words stuck somewhere deep inside.

Finally, as the sun starts to set, painting the ruined landscape in shades of orange and red, I manage to find my voice. “Mordakus?" I call out softly, hating how small and scared I sound. "Can we... can we stop for a bit? Please?"

He halts abruptly, turning to face me. His expression is guarded, but I think I see a flicker of concern in his eyes. "Are you hurt?" he asks gruffly.

I shake my head. "No, I just... I need a moment. To process everything."

Mordakus nods curtly, gesturing to a partially collapsed building nearby. "We'll rest there. It'll provide some cover for the night."

As we settle into our makeshift shelter, I try to gather my thoughts. Vincent curls up in my lap, his gentle purring a soothing counterpoint to the chaos in my head. Mordakus busies himself with securing the perimeter, avoiding eye contact.

"You're... you're a demon, right?" I finally manage to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Mordakus freezes, his back to me. For a long moment, he's silent, and I worry I've overstepped. But then he turns, his red eyes meeting mine. "Yes," he says simply. "I am."

I nod. "But you're fighting against the demons," I say, confusion coloring my voice.

Mordakus sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair. "It's complicated," he says. "Not all demons are the same. Some of us... some of us want something different. Some of us don’t want to wreak havoc across Protheka."

His words hang in the air between us. I think about everything we've been through, every time he's protected me, taught me, kept me safe. Yes, he can be harsh and intimidating, but he's never truly hurt me.

Mordakus grunts in acknowledgement, clearly uncomfortable with my gratitude. But I press on, needing to understand.

"Does it... does it hurt? When you change like that?"

He looks at me sharply, surprise evident in his expression. "You're asking if it hurts me?"

I nod, biting my lip nervously.

Mordakus' face softens almost imperceptibly. "No," he says. "It doesn't hurt. It's... it's like letting go. Embracing a part of myself I usually keep locked away."

I consider this, absently stroking Vincent's fur. "I'm sorry," I say after a moment.

"For what?"

"That you have to keep a part of yourself locked away. That must be... hard."

Mordakus stares at me, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he shakes his head, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "You're a strange one, Eve. Anyone else would be running for the hills after what they saw today."

I manage a small smile in return. "Well, I'm not anyone else. And besides, where would I run to? I am your prisoner, after all. Am I not?"

As night fully settles in, we share a meager meal of dried rations. The silence between us is different now - not comfortable, exactly, but less tense. As I nibble on my portion, I notice some plants growing in the cracks of the broken stone floor.

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