Page 59 of Protecting His Vampire Mate

“It’s nothing,” Bryan replied, giving me a little frown that caused a tiny and absolutely fucking adorable furrow in his brow. “I’m fine. You’re fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.”

I took his hand. “It’s okay if it isn’t, you know. We can talk about it. This is… sudden.”

What if he sees… me? The real me? What if he runs? The level of panic in Bryan’s mental voice only intensified. I couldn’t stand it.

I felt a protective urge tear through me. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, ever. With Bryan’s mind so close to mine, it almost felt like he was a part of me. And the idea that anything or anyone—and much less me—would ever do anything to hurt him was almost more than I could stand.

Never, I promised myself. I would never, never let anyone, or anything hurt Bryan.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it,” he breathed, finally meeting my gaze dead-on. “Um, can you hear me now? Like, right now?”

Don’t think about anything. Don’t think about anything. Don’t think about anything.

“You’re thinking about not thinking about anything,” I replied. “Which is sort of hard to do.”

If it was possible, Bryan went even paler. “Fuck.”

The terrible part about this was the fact that Bryan had given me his blood, which had created a one-way connection between us. Namely, I could hear his thoughts and sense his emotions. He couldn’t do the same with me. The power dynamic between us was unbalanced.

That wouldn’t do.

I knew I needed to broach the subject of his taking my blood—which would seal the blood bond between us. I also understood that the idea of feeding on someone was potentially a trigger, but I couldn’t stand the idea of having an unfair advantage with him.

An idea bloomed in my mind slowly, unwillingly. It went against my instinct to be in control of the situation, to be in the driver’s seat, to force my will onto the world around me. Which is how I knew that this was probably the right thing to do for my mate.

Because I didn’t want to control Bryan.

Ever. Period. End of story.

“Here,” I told him, forcing myself to sound casual, like this wasn’t going to be completely heart-wrenching for me. “I’m going to teach you how to shield your thoughts. Then, ya know, it’ll be problem solved. I won’t hear anything you don’t want me to.”

Bryan’s whole face transformed, moving from apprehension to eagerness in the span of a heartbeat. “Yes! Yes, please. I want to know how to do that.”

Despite the tight knot of resistance deep within me, I still had to fight to keep my amusement from my face at his eagerness, at the way he lit up immediately. And then, the relief that Bryan felt filtered through our shared bond. Knowing that I had caused that was enough to make me feel almost giddy with happiness.

The selfish trace of resistance within me unraveled in an instant. I didn’t need to control this. If I tried, I might shatter anything good between us.

Note to self, I thought. It feels really fucking good to give your mate what he needs.

“Okay, so I’ve heard that this can happen instinctively for some people, if they feel super closed off from their mate. Throwing up instinctive walls, I mean.”

“Right, but that’s not where I’m at right now,” Bryan replied seriously. “I feel really, really open with you. That’s sort of the problem. Right now, it’s not exactly an instinct for me to shut you out.”

I couldn’t help it, that made me grin like a damn fool. I leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. “Good.”

His reply was to tug me down onto the bed and nestle himself into my arms. “So, then, how do I protect my thoughts when I’m feeling open toward you?” Then he added, “Because, on some level, I feel like I always sort of want to let you in?”

He said that last part like it was a question.

When I glanced down at him, I saw the adorable little frown had returned. Though I didn’t quite catch the words of his thoughts, I saw that he was realizing that a small part of him liked that I knew the inside of his mind.

I also saw how quickly he clamped down on that part of himself.

It’s going to take him time, I reminded myself.

The last thing I ever wanted was for Bryan to feel helpless around me. I would never, never rob him of his power, of his autonomy. If Bryan opened his mind to me, it would be his choice and his alone.

“Feel for the edges of your mind,” I told him. “Even with the mate bond, it’s still completely yours and under your control, and it always will be. Usually just intending to feel for it will do the trick. And then pretend there’s a wall of fog around it, completely obscuring what’s inside your head.”

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