Page 41 of Protecting His Vampire Mate

My chest tightened a bit. Ethan had started our monster movie marathon nights back up, after Bryan had left. I’d gone to a few of them, but I had made excuses after the first couple of tries.

Ethan and Nathaniel were deeply in love and so sweet to each other that it made my heart hurt to see it, even though I was happy for my friend. And even my waspish sister and her thousand-year-old girlfriend, Simone, were happy. They were constantly affectionate with each other, trading easy smiles and cuddling on the couch.

It wasn’t really the same as it used to be and I always wound up feeling even more like a fifth wheel. I knew they hadn’t meant to make me feel that way, but knowing that didn’t help.

Still, I already missed them.

But even if I hung out with them every single day, the writing was still on the wall: the people closest to me were moving in totally different directions. And it didn’t matter how good I was, or how many times I showed up for them, or how well I did anything and everything put in front of me, they’d still ultimately leave me behind, even if they didn’t go anywhere at all.

That was even good. That was right. Ethan should be happy with Nathaniel. And even my prickly no-nonsense potty-mouth sister had found someone who cherished all of that about her, even if she and Simone were taking things very slowly.

They didn’t need me anymore and that was good.

But just because it was good didn’t mean it wasn’t hard. Even though it probably made me extremely selfish, I could admit to myself that deep down, I still wanted them to need me a little.

Bryan seemed to catch my expression. Concern flashed in his eyes. “It sounds like those were some happy times. Pizza, board games, and monster movies… so, why the pain?”

“I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh,” he rolled his eyes at that. Then he added, “You miss them.”

“I do,” I allowed, relaxing a notch.

That was a safe thing to admit to him, wasn’t it? I had spent years around them, so of course I missed them a little. Anyone would have.

Bryan studied me, cocking his head to the side. “No.”

I blinked in surprise. “No?”

“No,” he agreed. “You miss them, sure. But there’s more going on there. I’m a literal master of conflicted emotions at this point and I know it when I see it. It’s nothing so simple as just missing them.”

“Can’t we just play the game?” I asked, reaching for the instructions.

Bryan used vampire speed to snatch the little paper booklet out of the way before I could get it. Thankfully, the only other group in the room was so engrossed in what they were doing they wouldn’t have noticed it if we’d set each other on fire.

“That’s cheating,” I muttered.

“You can open up to me,” Bryan said softly, his face filled with sudden concern. “Look, I don’t know exactly what we are to each other, but I do know that I care about you. You can talk to me. I promise I won’t bite.”

My gaze lingered on his lips, and I wondered for the very first time what it might be like if he did bite me. When a vampire feeds, they can choose to make it extremely enjoyable for their partner. Ethan had once informed me, blushing right down to his roots, that it is, in fact, quite a pleasurable experience.

“Tobias,” Bryan chided me, and I realized I was staring at his parted lips. “Seriously, talk to me.”

“You’re not worried it’s going to make things weird?”

Bryan laughed. “We trundled right the fuck into weird a long time ago.” But then he lost his smile and he grimaced, letting out a long breath. “Look, it—it sets my teeth on edge, to see you in any pain at all. I don’t like it. I can’t stand it.”

The naked admission stood between us. And we could both recognize that he’d just made himself very, very vulnerable to me. I could have seized his words and ran with them. I could have maybe even coaxed more confessions out of him, all of which would have benefited me and not him.

But with that one admission, he had just handed me all of the metaphorical cards in this conversation, and I couldn’t allow that.

“Look, I’m scared they don’t need me anymore. My sister and Ethan. They’re moving on without me. Doing their own thing.”

“And you don’t like being left behind,” Bryan said, understanding flooding into his face. “You’re not used to not being needed.”

It wasn’t even a question. His voice was all wrong. It was far too gentle.

“Who is?” I muttered, feeling naked and exposed before him.

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