Page 188 of Barbi and the Villain

“You are far too naive, Barbi. They are Aperite deities,” he grits out.

“Barbi? Your name is Barbi?” The girl nearly topples Nykander over as she places herself in front of me. “That is just like that doll humans play with, no? I used to steal—uhm, buy—some for Wyn when she was younger. She loved them.”

“Yes, that is the doll,” I mutter, a bit taken aback by her manner. And here I thought I was odd.

“How cute! She’s named after a doll, Cer. Isn’t that awesome?”

“Thea… This is not the moment.”

“The dogs. May I meet the dogs, please?”

She seems genuine, so I convince Nykander to bring the dog house over. When she sees it’s pink, she can’t stop gushing about how cute it is, but her reaction only gets worse when she meets PomPom, BonBon, and Ander.

“Cer,” she cries out—as in, she actually sheds tears. “I need some. You must get me a dog, Cer.”

“Thea.” He sighs.

“I know the spiel, okay? You are not allowed to behave like this Thea. It is no wonder you remain unmarried in your old age because of this, Thea. You should focus on passing your exams, not on dogs, Thea. Am I missing something?”

“No, I think that covers it all,” Cer mutters.

Dressed as she is in that elegant gown, she’s now rolling in the grass with the dogs, letting them bite her updo until her hair tumbles down her back.

“Do you think she’s stranger than me?” I lean in to whisper to Nykander.

He purses his lips as he thinks for a moment.

“She is strange. But stranger?” He shakes his head. “I think you shall maintain the crown, dear poop master.”

I chuckle at our inside joke.

Thea plays with the dogs. Cer scowls by the side. And Nykander and I flirt a few feet over. And just a few moments ago, they were tearing at each other’s throats.

“Cer, you must leave these two people alone. How can they be evil if they have such cute dogs?”

“Thea, I am sure there is no correlation between the two.”

“Well, I am making it one,” she says as she gets up. Her dress is now stained from the grass, but she does not seem to care. “I require a dog too. Even Ze got Luce a cow. What have you ever gotten me?”

“I will not answer that question. Nor will I argue with you further.”

“Good. Then we can go home to get you fitted for your suit. And then we can search the universe for a cute dog.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Cer.” She tilts her head. “We will discuss this further when we get home. We can leave now.”

Both Nykander and I stare at them, dumbfounded.

“It was nice meeting you, dolly. You too, bloody man. You have very nice dogs. Take care of them, okay? And don’t turn any souls into demons. Then my brother will have to hunt you down and kill you and these cuties will remain without their parents.”

“Uhm, thanks?”

She grabs Cer by his shredded shirt and leads him away.

“Thea, you must stop interfering with my work…”

His voice drifts off as they both disappear.

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