Page 9 of Barbi and the Villain

Before I can find a safe spot to hide, PomPom jumps on me, pushing me back.

In a matter of seconds, I’m falling, unable to keep myself upright. But it’s the oddest thing as I was reclining on the wall in my nook.

My back hits something cold, and the breath is knocked out of me.

PomPom jumps off my chest, running around in circles.

Wait, circles?

I slowly open my eyes, squinting at the blinding light impairing my vision. Confusion swathes me. Feeling my way around the surface I’m currently lying on, I realize it’s some sort of dewy grass. The moisture clings to my hand and clothes, giving the impression of cold where the sun is shining brightly.

“PomPom?” I croak, rolling to my stomach to avoid the direct sunlight.

She’s busy exploring the surroundings while I’m moaning in pain, more confused than ever as I stare at a field. A green empty field.

Where the hell am I?

The first thought is that I’m dreaming, but as I pinch myself and yelp in pain, I have to begrudgingly agree that it’s not a dream. What if I’m dead, then? Is this some sort of afterlife? Maybe that earthquake killed me and now I’m somewhere in heaven.

But do dogs have the same heaven as humans? For some reason, I always thought there was a separate pet heaven. I’m not complaining, though. Heaven with PomPom by my side? I’d say that’s a win.

Besides, if I did die, it was quite painless. Who wouldn’t want to go that way?

As I ruminate over the state of my immortal soul, I slowly come to terms with the fact that I’m likely in the afterlife. It’s not that hard to believe, after all. There’s no other explanation for why I’m suddenly in a green field when moments ago I was in my house. And when logic fails you… Well, it’s time to entertain the illogical.

Slowly getting up, I dust my clothes and note I’m still wearing my cute pajamas. Oh, well. That’s another positive. Although I can think of ten other outfits I would have preferred to spend an eternity in.

PomPom comes running toward me, barking sweetly. She, at least, is enjoying this afterlife. But as I pick her up in my arms, a sliver of terror goes through me.

What if this afterlife doesn’t have dog food or her favorite treats?

Do we even need food here?

A low, growly sound reverberates in the air—my confirmation that we do, indeed, need food. And my stomach would benefit from having some soon.

“Oh my God, PomPom, but this is a good thing,” I exclaim after a moment’s thought. “If we’re dead but we can eat, then I doubt we’ll gain weight. We can eat everything!”

Her ears prick at that and she looks at me curiously.

“Yes, you heard me right. You can eat all the treats in the world and I can have unlimited chocolate. How cool is that?”

PomPom emits a low sound of approval.

“Now we just have to find some food. Fingers crossed they have chocolate and dog treats. It should be organic, too. I’d be very mad if that wasn’t the case. Do you think they also have dairy-free stuff?” I muse aloud. “I can do a little dairy, but too much and I will have stomach issues.”

PomPom nods.

“And if they don’t have nice toilets?” I pause as my eyes widen. “What if they don’t have toilets at all? Will I have to poop in a field?”

PomPom growls.

“I know you’re used to pooping outside, PomPom, but I’m not,” I tell her. “I’ve never pooped in a field. What if there are bugs and they bite my butt?”

PomPom doesn’t seem too happy with my words.

“Fine, fine. I am getting ahead of myself. We should just explore this afterlife and get some food. Maybe meet other dead people. But I hope it’s nice dead people, not bad dead people. If there are bad dead people, then maybe we’re in hell, and I wouldn’t want to be in hell. I don’t think I’ve sinned that much to be in hell, right?”

I’m babbling at this point. Maybe I was too fast to declare this a good outcome. The more I think about it, the more questions come to mind—and I’m not sure I will like the answers.

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