Page 147 of Mayhem and Minnie

Once upon a time, I thought myself above such temptation. But now I realize I’m just as weak as any other man.

I see her, I get hard. It’s that simple.

I suppose I’d better start shopping for a ring.

“Why partially?” I clear my throat, doing my best to focus on the road and not on her legs.

Goddamn it, I want her. So much so I’m willing to risk my holy bachelorhood for her.

“I need you to clarify something for me. It’s life and death, Marlowe, so don’t think to lie to me again,” she adds in a serious voice.

“What is it?”

“Your body score.”

“Body count,” I correct.

“Whatever. It’s only dead people, right?” she asks, nibbling uncertainly on her lip.

“Yes, only dead people,” I confirm.

“And by that I mean that you killed those dead people, you didn’t do other…things with them, right?” She continues.

I blink, fearing I haven’t heard her right.

“Did you just imply I’m into necrophilia, Minnie?” I ask, barely holding my laughter in.

“N-no. I mean… Just tell me the truth, will you?” she cries out in frustration. “Have you slept with any person, dead or alive?” She stares at me intently as she waits for my answer.

“No, I have not slept with anyone,” I reply.

A smile tugs at her lips, but before she can breathe in relief, she frowns.

“No, no. I will not let you mislead me again,” she mutters. “Marlowe! Have you f-fucked anyone, dead or alive?” she asks again.

I’m close to bursting out laughing, but I know that will only offend her further. I’m already in her bad books for my previous behavior, so I might as well give this round to her.

“No, Minnie. I have not fucked any person, dead or alive.”

Finally, a big smile explodes on her face. She brings her hands together in front of her chest and she claps her palms repeatedly in excitement.

“Good. That’s good,” she whispers to herself.

Fuck. If I had known that would bring her so much joy, I would have told her the truth from the beginning. Then I wouldn’t have had to withstand her cold behavior for weeks.

But then I wouldn’t have known she was jealous either…

Ah, such a dilemma.

“And kissing. You said we were even. Clarify that for me, too,” she adds, even more excitement echoing in her voice.

“It means exactly what you think it means, Minnie. I have not kissed anyone else, dead or alive. Unless you count kissing my mother on the cheek.”

She waves her hand.

“Doesn’t count.”

She’s so chirpy and happy, she starts humming to herself and dancing in her seat.

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