Page 64 of Mayhem and Minnie

“I assure you that most people already know you’ve been sleeping with him for years.”

“Marlowe!” She gasps. “What are you talking about?”

Of course she’d feign ignorance. It’s been an open secret for the last twenty years, so I don’t know why she’s still bent on denying it.

“Of course, Mother. Forgive me for implying such a thing. You can continue to hide your affair in plain sight and think no one knows about it.”

“M-M-Marlowe…” she sputters. “That’s what I get for calling you,” she mutters.

“Happy to be of service.” I chuckle.

“Back to the topic at hand,” she resumes in her stern voice. “Giles told me about your incident. He said he handled it, but he also let it drop that there was a lady with you?”

I curse under my breath. Of course Giles would tell Mother that.

“She’s a friend.”

“You don’t have friends. Much less of the opposite gender,” she replies, tongue in cheek.

“I have now.”

“Fabulous! Oh my, dear, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this day. I thought it was never going to happen. When I heard Giles, I could not believe it, of course, but then he showed me some of the footage from that diner.”

“He was supposed to get rid of that,” I mumble.

“He did, after he showed it to me, of course.”

“And you say you’re not involved in any way.”

“That’s neither here nor there, dear. I must say I was surprised to see the state of the girl. She was barely clothed, for God’s sake. Where did you find her, Marlowe? Not that I’m complaining. God forbid. I’m very happy to see you in the company of someone else, regardless of whether she’s a little street urchin or not. She isn’t, is she?”

“And if she were?” I ask, just to bait her.

There’s no point in lying to her now since Giles must have told her all the details already. If he weren’t so damn good at his job, I would have stopped using him the moment I heard about his involvement with my mother.

Alas. Even if I prefer to keep my distance from my family, at the end of the day, what happens in our family, stays there.

“Well, I can’t be picky now, of course. If that’s what you like…” Her voice wobbles. She takes a deep breath and continues. “I’d like to meet her. I have already made a reservation at the Atera for the end of the month.”

“Now wait a moment. What did you just say?” I stand up and pace around.

“You don’t think I’m going to miss this chance for anything in the world, do you? I had already resigned myself to never seeing you with anyone before I die,” she says in a dramatic tone. “So imagine my surprise when not only did I see you with a woman, but you held hands! You barely let me touch you and you held hands with that young lady? Well, I must meet her.”

“Mother.” I take a deep breath. “There will be no meeting of any sort. I’ll see you at your birthday party next month. That’s enough.”

“How can you say that? Once a year is never enough, dear. No, I will not have it. The reservation is for the last Wednesday of this month at seven in the evening. I shall see you there, with your young lady.”

“And if I don’t?” I drawl.

“Then I’ll get your home address out of Giles and I’ll never leave you alone until the day I die. I’ll put up a tent in front of your house and you will not be able to kick me out.”

“Did you just threaten to annoy me for the rest of your life?”

“Precisely.” She releases a loud humph.

“May I remind you that you would not last a day in a tent?” I laugh.

“Then it shall be a battle of wills,” she confidently replies. “May the strongest win.”

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