Page 135 of Mayhem and Minnie

She’s a strong woman who’s not easily put off by death—she’s experienced plenty of it in her lifetime. But this might be her breaking point.

“You…do?” A trembling smile pulls at her lips.

“Yes! I didn’t know about it at first, of course. I thought it was just regular ash. But I’m not mad. I mean, at least they’re useful for something, no? And this way, I’ll help Marlowe get rid of the remains.” Minnie beams.

“By wearing them?” my mother asks, half-horrified.

“Well…” Minnie bites her lip. “I don’t have any makeup. He didn’t buy me any,” she says and points her finger at me, her expression once more belligerent. “So I had to make do. But it’s quite pretty, no?” She bats her lashes to emphasize her eyeshadow.

“Very,” my mother murmurs.

“And it’s all natural too! Aren’t you humans concerned with that? Although I’m not sure if this would be considered vee-gan,” she continues, her tone pensive. Her pronunciation, though, is a little off as she elongates the E in vegan too much. “It’s clearly not cruelty-free, but is it vee-gan if it’s just ash? I suppose it could be up to interpretation, but it is an animal by-product, no?”

Both my mother and I stare at Minnie.

“I don’t think the issue is if human-derived eyeshadow ash is vegan, dear. It’s murder.”

“Well, yes.” Minnie frowns. “But what isn’t murder? Aren’t you guys killing nature all the same? Plants, people, what’s the difference?”

Once more, Minnie has rendered both Mother and me speechless.

Slowly, my mother turns to look at me. She just stares for a few moments before she finally speaks.

“I don’t know where you found this young lady, Marlowe, but this is perfect. So perfect! You two are made for each other,” she exclaims, clasping her hands in front of her.

Minnie smiles. But then she remembers she’s mad at me and scowls.

“I’m not talking to him,” she mutters under her breath.

“Hear that, Marlowe.” My mother chuckles. “You should apologize for making your girlfriend sad.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I mutter.

“That’s right. You two live together already. She’s more like your wife than your girlfriend. Ah, this is just marvelous. I didn’t expect this, especially since it’s…well, you. But now I can die happy.”

Though she does her best to hide it, Minnie is quite pleased by my mother’s words.

“There will be no dying, Mother. You’re young. Stop the dramatics.”

“I’m not as young as I used to be.” She sighs.

“You look wonderful, Mrs. Spencer-Astor,” Minnie interjects, nodding effusively. “Your taste in clothes is very nice, too. I must get Marlowe to buy me some of this too. The color is quite nice and vivid,” she continues as she inspects my mother’s tweed two-piece set. She touches the red tweed with reverence and I make a mental note to buy her some.

“You have a good eye, dear.” Mother winks.

They start talking about fashion and completely ignore me.

The waitress brings us our appetizers, then the main course.

My mother and I went for steak, but for some reason, Minnie declined to get meat. She opted instead for vee-gan pasta.

“I didn’t realize you’ve suddenly become vee-gan,” I note as I watch her eat her pasta with gusto.

“I didn’t.” She shrugs. “It’s just the meat here doesn’t seem to sit well with me. If I eat too much, I get sick.”

I frown. That’s one odd way of putting it. But then I recall that aside from the first few days when she ate nearly everything, she’s been eating meat very sparsely. I berate myself—I should have noticed that.

“What do you mean? What type of meat?”

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