Carol led me through the main part of the school, where I tried to envision myself working for far longer than the remainder of the school year. The main part of the building opened up into the lunchroom and would soon be filled with a hundred students. Down one hall was the gymnasium and a small auditorium. We bypassed that hallway and went to the back of the school toward the rear staircase.
“As time allows, make sure to explore the school on your own. Teachers will help you with whatever you need, but you should be comfortable enough to know your way around the school blindfolded, just in case of an emergency. This is the most direct route to take, but there are other exits and stairwells, if you need them. You’ve spoken with Faye, correct?”
“Parker?” I hoped I had the last name right.
“Yes. That’s it. She’s our other third-grade teacher, and she’s not only excited to meet you, but she’ll be able to help you with anything. We’ve decided to adjust the curriculum a little bit, to follow her lesson plans instead of Mrs. Bonners’, but that’s only until you’re ready to do your own thing. Faye thought that’d help so you can have her support, and to be honest, since you’re both younger, I think you’ll appreciate her fresher style compared to Jackie’s.”
“I think that’s a great idea. And Faye already emailed the lesson plans she has made up to Thanksgiving break, so I should be able to handle them.”
“Wonderful.”
We arrived upstairs, to a long hallway of dusty-blue lockers, off-white brick walls, and a cream linoleum floor. Despite the lack of color in the buildings, the walls were filled with large, framed areas that showed off a massive amount of artwork and schoolwork, giving the dark hallway a brighter, happier feel.
My breath lodged in my throat and my palms turned sweaty as Carol pulled her key from her lanyard and slid it into the door’s lock.
This was it. Do or die.
Oh dear… Please help me not only to survive but to thrive.
THREE
GAVIN
“And then, Daddy, she not only made us all laugh, but even Grayson wasn’t sad anymore. Isn’t that wonderful?”
It was. It was absolutely wonderful. It was so wonderful my ears were close to bleeding from Josie’s nonstop gushing over her new teacher since I picked her up after school.
“And did I mention how pretty she is? So pretty. And her eyes are so blue it’s like I’m looking at the sky, and she looked so beautiful in her skirt.”
Yep. My daughter had mentioned how pretty she was, too. A thousand times, but there was no interrupting her. Not when she was dragging me by the hand straight up the stairs to her classroom where I’d soon meet the pretty teacher with the beautiful skirt and the sky-blue eyes.
I already despised her, and I had no idea what kind of teacher she was or what she looked like, but any woman who so easily entranced Josie like this was a red flag in my book.
Josie was desperate for a mom. Wouldn’t stop talking about it since she hit elementary school and realized she was the only girl in her grade who didn’t have one. Which meant every time we crossed paths with a slightly younger woman in town, or even in the city when I took her on weekend getaway vacations, she started suggesting they could be her mother.
Like I could order one off the internet. Like I wanted to go through the turmoil of trying to trust someone again. Like I wanted the absolutely breath-stalling fear I’d find a woman who would abandon us all over again.
No, thank you.
If only Miss Pesco could have been old with warts on her nose and smelled like mothballs…
But nope. According to Josie, that wasn’t the case. I had no doubt that any more time in Miss Pesco’s presence and Josie would fall in love with her.
It wasn’t that I wanted to keep my daughter from being happy, but the pain that would come after Miss Pesco wasn’t in her life anymore would break Josie’s heart, and I wasn’t nearly ready for heart breaking to start happening.
“I want a flower skirt just like hers. Can I have one, Daddy? Please?”
I was not going to even glance at Miss Pesco’s skirt. “You have dozens at home that you never wear because you don’t like to get them dirty at Grandma’s house.”
“Then I’ll wear them at home and school!”
Sure she would. For a hot minute until she didn’t see anyone else wearing skirts and then it’d get balled and thrown in a corner, only to come out for holidays and the occasional visit to church.
“How about we talk about skirts when spring comes and it gets warmer out?”
“But Miss Pesco wore one today.”
I gritted my teeth and fell into the line of parents shuffling into the classroom. Like usual, Josie was the only kid in attendance, mostly because I was a single parent and while I took my parents’ help when needed, I also liked her with me. I was protective, probably overly so, but frankly, I enjoyed the hell out of my daughter and didn’t like being without her.