Page 39 of Unbreakable Love

“I think it’d be more fun with a mom.”

Ouch. Okay. So this wasn’t the time to take her view of my limitations seriously, but it still hurt.

“I know. And I’m sorry you get so hurt when you think about the things you don’t have, Josie, and I know I’m not everything you need.”

“You’re not horrible, though.”

I chuckled at that and reached out to find her knee. I gave her a quick squeeze. “Thanks, kid. I’m glad I don’t suck.”

A tiny smile twitched at her lips, but she pushed it away, refusing to find a reason to smile.

“Listen, I know you really like your new teacher, and I think it’s even nice that she’s our new neighbor because she seems really nice, right?”

“And she’s pretty.”

She said it with the tone I was beginning to understand… like she was trying to convince me of it and instantly want her for my daughter’s new mom.

“I think it’s even wonderful you think that, and I bet Miss Pesco would enjoy hearing it from you.” No way was I admitting it. Not to my daughter. Not to anyone. Not ever. “But the thing is, I can’t just go find you a mom.” As I said it, her face crumpled, so I quickly carried on. “Someday, I might find a woman I love and a woman I want to be with, and I promise you, when that happens, I’ll make sure she loves you too and wants to be a good mom to you. I’ll have to love that woman because she’s a good woman and she’ll have to love me, too, and it’s not as easy as sharing a dinner together. It’s not, though, okay for you to put me in positions like you did tonight with Miss Pesco and think just because you like us both, that we belong together. Does that make sense?”

“Well, why wouldn’t you like her?”

The problem was I did. I liked everything I saw and learned about her. Liking Penny wasn’t the problem. Falling in love with her and having her leave was the fear. But I couldn’t say any of that to an eight-year-old who wouldn’t understand.

“It’s not that I don’t like Miss Pesco but liking someone and wanting to love them and marry them and spend the rest of my life with them are different things. You have to give me time for that, and I haven’t had that.”

Her nose scrunched up and her lips pushed out as she thought hard about it. I was about to give myself a pat on the back for the way I was handling this. I was doing all right. And she wasn’t more upset.

I counted it as winning.

“But you’re not even trying to find someone for us,” Josie said.

Or… not. She had me there.

“How about this. I can admit that finding a woman to love hasn’t been something I’ve done, but that’s only because I love all the time I get to spend with you. So I’ll agree to start considering the idea of maybe, someday, finding a woman who could love us both. But you, sweet little miss thing, need to stop trying to set me up with every woman you think is nice. Okay?”

“Fine,” she huffed.

“Pinky promise?” I asked and held out my hand, pinky extended.

She tucked her hands into her lap beneath her blanket. “I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of promise.”

“Fair enough.” I laughed and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. “Now, are you going to stay in the dark room all night or are we going to watch a movie and have popcorn?”

“Popcorn!”

She flung off her covers and jumped out of the bed while I dutifully followed to give my daughter a better ending to the night than it started.

Tomorrow, I’d figure out how to again apologize to Penny for being rude and kicking her out of my house.

Maybe we could figure out a way to be friends.

It would, after all, be the neighborly thing to do.

TWELVE

GAVIN

“You sure you’re feeling better?”

---