Page 48 of The Bull's Head

“No, don’t apologize. I would do the same for you, and I would feel as you do, but I hope I would understand that I still had others who depended on me. We all need you in our lives, and if you’re not keeping yourself healthy, then we will have failed you if we don’t make you take a break to keep your very tenuous hold on sanity.”

He couldn’t deny how much his muscles ached, especially sitting hunched over on the floor as he was, but it was a small price to pay if it brought Byk back to him sooner.

“And what good will you be to your Byk if you cannot move? I have so much respect for the people here who could not shift for many years. I don’t think I could retain my mind if I was unable to be true to who I am.”

Teddy hadn’t thought of it in those terms. It would go a long way toward explaining why some of the people here were infirm in some way. Legs that had bowed, spines that kept them hunched over, fingers that no longer worked the way they should. These were the people who’d been held for years, probably in far worse conditions than any of them suspected.

“You need this, Teddy. I’ll make you a deal. Give me thirty minutes, and then you can come back and return to your search.”

Teddy sighed. “Okay, thirty minutes.”

The smile he got was bright. He missed Ivan so much. They hadn’t been separated for longer than a few days since they’d been born. Wherever Ivan went, Teddy wasn’t far behind. As close as they were, people thought they were twins.

When they got outside, they undressed and put their clothes in the box, then shifted. Ivan’s was quick, but Teddy’s took longer this time than usual. His body protested each move. He definitely needed to do this more often. When the shift was finally complete, Teddy stretched his face toward the sun, marveling at the warmth. He wished Byk was here, running with them.

When Ivan nipped him on the flank, Teddy’s first impulse was to chase after him, to do what they did when they were cubs and tackle him, then roll around in the dewy grass. Now though, he only wanted this time to pass quickly so they could go back inside. Ivan nudged him, and Teddy finally moved. They loped through the forest, knocking down branches, trampling grass, splashing in the water. Any other time, it would be fun, but not today.

Teddy shifted back, the change easier now that his muscles had gotten a workout. Ivan followed suit.

“It is not yet thirty minutes.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I have to get back inside.”

Ivan reached out a rough hand and stroked Teddy’s cheek. “I knew you would say that. Don’t worry, I will tell them we were out here the whole time. I’m sorry I had to take you away from your work.”

“No, you were right. I needed to get into my skin for a bit. I feel so much better now, and I appreciate it.” He gave Ivan a smile. “Next time, don’t bite me on the ass.”

“Very well, I will do my best not to.” He nudged Teddy’s shoulder. “It isn’t my fault it’s so biteable, though.”

It was a surprise when Ivan took Teddy’s hand. He hadn’t done that since they were kids. He led Teddy back into the compound, down the ramp, and back to the makeshift office, where he let go. It was weird how Teddy missed the contact.

“Theodore….”

“I was a jerk, and I’m sorry.”

“No, little brother. You were fine. It is I who was the jerk. It hurts me to see you in pain, especially knowing there is little I can do about it. I can’t fix your heart, so I had to help your body. That makes sense, da?”

It was easy to tell Ivan was getting flustered. His accent was becoming thicker, heavier. Most telling was his face. There was pain there, and it hurt Teddy to see it.

“Do you want me to come home?”

Ivan shook his head. “No, you must follow your heart, as must I.” His shoulders slumped. “I will be telling Damon and Cece that I am going to be leaving and coming to live here.”

That was news to Teddy. “Really?” He wasn’t about to question the decision. If he could have Ivan here, things would be so much better.

“Da. I cannot live there, knowing my brother is lost in the backwoods with no one to protect him.”

He was joking, but Teddy knew the truth. Ivan wanted them to be together. “I… I’d love for you to be here. We could go exploring together like we did when we were kids.” Teddy tamped down on the eagerness. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Nothing would make me happier, little brother.” He patted Teddy on the back. “Now go back to your research, and please, I beg you, find something soon. I want to see you happy and whole again, okay?”

“Yes, okay!” One last hug, then Teddy hurried back to his office.

He’d been looking through another stack when the door opened. The deep voice from behind startled Teddy for a moment.

“How can I help?”

He spun around and found Mal standing there, arms crossed over his chest, seeming as though he was daring Teddy to tell him no.

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