Page 36 of The Bull's Head

“Teddy?”

He scrubbed a hand over his face, not wanting Alp to know he’d been crying. “Yes, bunny?”

A gentle hand came to rest on Teddy’s shoulder. “I brought you something to eat. It’s not much, but I know you need to keep up your strength, because now you have to be strong for two people.”

And just like that, the facade cracked, and Teddy turned and buried his face in Alp’s chest.

“I cannot lose him, Alp. I have only just found him, and now he might?—”

“No, don’t. You can’t let your mind go off in that direction. Lydia has Gwyneth coming, and together they’ll figure it out, I’m sure.” He stroked a hand over Teddy’s back. “You need to have faith that the Maker won’t let anything happen to him.”

Teddy leaped up, knocking his chair back, and sending it crashing to the floor. Anger surged in him, and it needed an outlet.

“Like she protected you? Or the man who has lost his eyes? Or the children who will never walk properly? The Maker is a fantasy, Alp. One we use to keep ourselves from addressing the real problems. Hyde did this to you, to everyone. Did the Maker strike him down? No. She allowed him to torture, to maim, to kill, and nothing happened until Cece tore him apart. What kind of goddess is she, if she allows her people to suffer?”

Alp stood, his shoulders back, and glared at Teddy. “Do you think I haven’t had those same thoughts?” Alp asked, his voice stronger than Teddy would have thought. “Every night I lay in that cage and I cursed her, but then I prayed as well. How did Mal find me? One tiny lone rabbit in a forest? Why did he save me? I have to believe she sent him to free me and everyone here.” He moved closer and wrapped Teddy in his arms. “He died doing that, and it was only Gwyneth being here that saved him. Why was she here? Lydia was, so it wasn’t as though one person should matter, but on that day, she was the most important one here. Did the Maker send her? I don’t know, but I don’t want to give up hope that she did. Does that make me a fool? Maybe. For all I know, there is no Maker, and we’re on our own here. If that’s true, then I will continue my hard work, not in service to her, but to those who live here, and in the memory of those who’ve died. Why? Because I can’t do anything else.”

Teddy hefted Alp off the floor and squeezed him so hard, Alp grunted. “You are a good man, Alpin Dawkins. Your mother must be so very proud of you.”

“She is. I think she’d love to spend time with you. And Callum. She’s a force of nature wrapped up in a teeny tiny bottle. If Nura Dawkins loves you, then nothing had better get between you and her. And you, Theodore Egorov, are someone she will absolutely fall for.”

They stood there, Teddy holding Alp to his chest, for several long minutes. Finally, Teddy put him back down on the floor and picked up his chair.

“I am sorry for my outburst,” he said, swiping at his eyes before taking his seat beside the bed again.

“Don’t worry about it. Trust me when I tell you, I’ve had more than my share of freak-outs. Nightmares are a thing here, you understand. We’ve had some people wake up screaming at the top of their lungs, and it seemed as though it would never end. I’m grateful to Lydia, Gwyneth, Damon, and Cece for everything they’ve helped us with, especially finding psychological help for everyone. Without their assistance….”

His words were unsaid, but Teddy understood them.

“I must admit to you, part of my reason for coming was because I wanted to help here. I wanted to show the children that strength—true strength—comes from inside, and that it lies in kindness toward others.”

“They’ve noticed,” Alp assured him. “At movie night, they loved climbing on the big bear and hearing you chuff. You were even better than the movie. You have such a good heart, and I know that’s why Callum is perfect for you.”

“What? I never?—”

“No, you didn’t, but I know that look. I see it whenever I catch my reflection when I think about Mal. If you’re not in love, you’re well on your way. I’d be willing to bet that your bear wants to claim Callum as his, to keep him safe and loved, just like Mal does for me.”

The words were truth. He wanted Byk in their room, to sleep in their bed, to wake and have breakfast together before starting their day, and then to come home at night and take comfort in each other. For the first time, Teddy wondered about sex, but only with his Byk. No one else interested him in that way, and they never had. But, even if Byk never desired sex, Teddy still wanted him. Ivan had expounded on the joys of sex with any partner who was willing, but for Teddy it never seemed important. Now he could understand the excitement he could find in coupling with his mate.

So you admit he’s your mate?

No, Teddy admitted only to wishful thinking, because without Byk’s consent, there would be no claiming bite, no exchange of seed. If he was opposed to the idea, they could still have a relationship, and they would make it work, if Byk wanted more with Teddy.

Please, let Byk be interested in more.

“Is there anything I can get for you? Some hot cocoa? There’s some apple and blueberry pie left from dinner, if Mal hasn’t eaten it.”

“No, but thank you, First mate. Mal could not have chosen anyone better. You are a so fierce for someone so….”

Alp chuckled. “Tiny. Yeah, I know what you mean. In the time we’ve been here, I’ve come to think of these people as my own. We’re still trying to find their families, but I remind them that they have one here as well.” He reached a hand out and gripped Teddy’s wrist. “You do too.”

“I am coming to understand that, and it is very much appreciated. Good night, Alp.”

“Night, Teddy.”

One last lunge, a final hug, and Alp was out the door, leaving Teddy alone with the man he was coming to realize he couldn’t live without.

“Come back to me, Byk. I need you.”

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