Page 12 of The Bull's Head

Shift back? Why in the hell would Callum want that? He hadn’t heard from his brother in forever. If he had escaped, wouldn’t he come back for Callum? Even if Callum ran that night, it was still his brother, right? And now that Teddy was here, Callum was being brushed, and was going to get a bath. And he’d brought him veggies; the rich, sweet taste still lingering on Callum’s tongue.

What did being human ever get him? Nothing he could think of. He wasn’t as smart, strong, or handsome as Cooper, or so he heard from most everyone. He’d won a second place award once while he was in high school. He couldn’t even remember what it had been for, but he was excited and told his family as soon as he got home. Why he thought they might be the least bit happy, he had no idea. The night of the award ceremony, there were three reserved seats that sat empty as Callum crossed the stage. As soon as the event was over, Callum tossed the award in the trash and went home.

It was never mentioned again.

There were so many things like that growing up. Jibes about how Callum should be jealous of his brother, and didn’t he wish he was as good as Cooper? Those stood out in his mind. He was pathetic and small compared to Cooper, but he still loved his brother. Mostly. He….

Tears again. His flanks shook as he remembered the few times that Cooper had told him not to listen to their parents. That Callum was amazing, and he had to believe in himself because, no matter what, Cooper believed in him. He’d told Callum once that he loved the accolades, because he knew as soon as they left school, those days would be over. High school was Cooper’s domain, but in ten years, he’d be sitting in the bar with nothing but regrets.

Of course, he later claimed he was drunk, and no way had he said that garbage, but it made Callum look at Cooper in a different light. Of course, neither of them ever graduated high school. Cooper was seventeen and Callum fifteen when they were stolen away. By listening to their captors as they made notes about the results of their sadistic experiments, Callum figured they’d been there six, maybe seven years. Callum wasn’t even sure how old he was. It would be funny if he wasn’t so fucking scared all the time.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Teddy asked, his voice smooth and silky. He lay beside Callum, an arm wrapped over his side. “I wish you could tell me what was wrong. I’d do anything I could to help you.”

It startled Callum that Teddy had laid down on the hay Callum used as a bathroom. Sure, they changed it out daily, but still….

“Don’t worry about me,” Teddy whispered, a hand along Callum’s side. “I promise you, I’ve slept in much worse places. Close your eyes for me, Callum. Rest and let me hold you.”

Callum didn’t want to. He had an urge to get up, to run home, to… something. Instead, he did what Teddy asked and closed his eyes. The soft massage felt so good, it soothed a lot of Callum’s worries, and moments later, he was asleep.

Teddy continued his slow, deep rubs. He loved the feel of Callum’s hair as it slid through his fingers. He almost wished it didn’t need to be shaved down after he got it all combed out, but there were places it would be impossible to get a comb through.

He sniffed and winced. He hadn’t lied when he said he’d slept in worse places, but he could feel the moisture seeping through his clothes and onto his skin. It didn’t matter, though. Clothes could be burned, and skin could be scrubbed clean. Mal had asked him to watch over Callum, and Teddy would do that for his new First.

That’s a lie. You’re doing it because it’s Callum.

Okay, maybe that was part of it. Teddy had always been protective of others, except for Ivan. Even if he knew they could take care of themselves, Teddy still wanted to stand between anyone who was going to be hurt and the person who’d need their ass kicked for trying.

Because you’re making up for a lifetime of no one needing you, and then when they did, you failed them.

He scooted a little closer to Callum. Was that how it seemed? Did Teddy really feel as though he failed? Yeah, but what could he have done? Lies, collusion with Hyde, and being a sociopath had given Hiram an edge that neither Teddy or Ivan ever expected. When the man had the power to lie to your face, and do it with a smile, how could someone suspect him of going so far as to kill his wife and children?

They trusted you to take care of them. You failed. What happens when you fail Callum too?

Teddy sighed. He didn’t want to fail Callum. He wanted to have Callum shift back, so the two of them could drive to town, maybe go to the diner. The last time they’d had food from there, it had been delicious, and Teddy could go for more of those yummy mozzarella sticks.

Callum whimpered in his sleep. Teddy brushed a hand across that big head, allowing his fingers to slide over the horns. He was surprised Hyde had allowed Callum to keep them, but then again, everything he’d read said Highland bulls were gentle. When Callum snuffled, Teddy wished he had the power to draw out all the pain. He’d take it on himself, if only it would free Callum from those memories.

In the distance, Teddy could hear his phone. It was Ivan’s tone, and Teddy never ignored his brother. This once, however, he’d let the call go to voicemail, and he’d call back when he wasn’t comforting a friend.

They lay together for a long while. Teddy was more than happy to stay as long as Callum needed him, even if his clothes were going to have to be burned when he went back inside. The odor was pungent already, and he was certain it would only get worse. Maybe he should have left them in the box, but he worried that Callum would freak out if a naked man came striding toward him. Not that he didn’t freak out anyway.

How stupid it had been to bring a bag of things without warning Callum he was going to do it. Teddy wasn’t sure what he expected, but as soon as Callum saw the bag the fear rolled off him and Teddy reacted to that. He never wanted Callum to be afraid, especially of him.

So if laying in pee- and poop-soaked hay was what it took to make Callum feel safe, Teddy would happily do it. He wrinkled his nose at the stench. Okay, maybe not happily, but whatever. After all, it definitely wasn’t the first time he’d slept in a place like this. He and Ivan had done it when their father’s wrath was aimed in their direction and sleeping in the barn was preferable to a beating.

This time? It was by choice and served a much higher purpose.

Your life has always been about purpose, hasn’t it? First it was caring for your siblings, and then it was working as a bodyguard for Hiram and his family. What happened to your own hopes and dreams? Why did they always take a backseat to everyone else?

That was easy to answer. Teddy loved to make people feel safe and secure. His own feelings weren’t what was important to him.

But when you and Ivan went in to Hyde’s compound, that changed. At least a little bit.

Of the two of them, Ivan was the strongest. Teddy had no problem admitting that. He was big, stoic, and took no crap. The only chink in his armor came from Hiram’s betrayal and the fact that the kids had been killed. Even though he claimed he was over it, that would haunt Ivan to his dying day. If there was one thing either of them hated, it was the fact that they’d failed those children. They would have gladly killed Hiram to protect his family.

So what changed? Why did you go from a protector to being a filing clerk?

Hiram and Hyde happened. Teddy had seen many things in his life. Having grown up on a farm, death was a constant companion. He’d always been taught not to get attached, because the chicken he loved today might well be the dinner for tomorrow night.

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