Page 57 of The Fall

I wrapped myself up in the comforts of home, staring into the darkness and doing what I’d spent hours of my life doing in this very spot—thinking of Dean Martin. I woke up hours later covered in sweat, a whimper still on my lips as I came out of another bad dream. A dream I was all too familiar with. I took a long hot bath to ease the ache that had built in my arms from clinging to my sheets. I sat in the tub replaying the night Dean had made me the promise he failed to keep.

“I’ll come back for you, Dallas.”

Dallas

Now

I woke the next morning, surprisingly well-rested despite my bad dream, and scurried to the kitchen to grab a quick coffee before leaving for my shift. My mom stood waiting for me in the kitchen, and I jumped in surprise when she met me with a waiting smile. “Mom, it’s six in the morning!” I looked to see my favorite breakfast of eggs benedict and fresh orange juice waiting for me. “Oh, this is too much, Mom. You didn’t have to.” Grabbing my fork, I dug in as she leaned over the counter, planting a quick kiss on my cheek.

“It goes with aging. I wake up at the crack of dawn, and I hate it,” she mused, watching me inhale my plate. “Besides, little woman, you’re getting too thin.”

“I’m on it,” I said confidently. “I’ve been letting too much get in the way of my health. I’ve already decided to do better. I’ll take the food but skip the lecture, okay?” I asked, hopeful.

My mom narrowed her eyes. “Fine, smart ass, I was just doing my job.”

“I know, and you’re really good at it,” I complimented around a mouthful of runny eggs and Canadian bacon.

“Just remember, old lady or not, I can still kick your ass,” she said forcefully as I laughed loudly around a swallow of deliciousness.

“Eggs benedict,” my dad said sleepily. “Morning, angel, this is a nice surprise.”

“Hi, Daddy,” I piped before leaning into a bear hug.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as my mom ushered him to sit beside me.

“I had a rough day yesterday and just wanted to be home.”

“Oh.” He stopped his juice glass midway to his mouth, his concern clear.

“I’m fine. Mom and I talked it out, really,” I assured him as I finished my plate.

“Well, if you want another ear,” he offered as I looked at my mom’s reddening face.

“Seth Whitaker,” she snapped, “I’m more than capable of talking to her without your assistance.”

“I’ve no doubts, baby,” he said sweetly.

“You’re in for a long day, baby,” my mom retorted. They both chuckled and looked at me expectantly.

“I’m fine, okay? Crisis averted.” Rinsing off my plate and sticking it in the dishwasher, I addressed them both. “I’m chalking this up to good old-fashioned curiosity. I have a job I love, and everything else is just a distraction. It’s time to get back to life as I know it and stop worrying about what-ifs. That time is over. I just want to resume my life as it was.”

My mom harrumphed, clearly unhappy with my decision, and I replied, “It’s my decision to make.”

“What am I missing?” my dad asked, looking between us.

“Dean is back and wants another shot with Dallas. She’s still madly in love with him and is refusing to give him a chance,” my mom boldly declared, summing up all that was unsaid between us last night.

“Mom,” I protested.

“Dean is back,” he said animatedly. “Oh, man, I’d love to see him.”

“Well, then you invite him over, Dad. I want no part of it.” I rounded the corner, grabbing my purse, and hugging my mom goodbye. “He’s just bored. He came home to take care of his mom and decided it’d be fun to play ‘remember when’ with me. Speaking of Dean, Dad, I need a favor.” He raised his brows skeptically but not because of the favor. He didn’t believe one word of my speech. Neither did my mom. I was determined to prove them both wrong. Like with all things Dean-related, I’d taken his words to mean more than they did. His actions had always seemed to prove otherwise. I wasn’t that naïve anymore and would never be to that extent ever again. It’d cost me too much.

“What’s the favor, angel?”

My day went by quickly. I spent the majority of my time in the children’s ward, talking with the doctors and watching their procedures. I’d woken up this morning with a sense of purpose. I would have to broach the subject with Rose at a later date. I didn’t want to distract her from the happiness she’d found or her studies. I knew my sister well and was still in the process of deciding just how to approach the subject of my career change with her. I’d been certain of only one thing in the last month—that I loved being a doctor, and even more so, I loved being one on the front line fighting a disease I hated. There wasn’t anything original about it. I was one of thousands of doctors to step up to the plate, but it was what I loved to do. I wanted to fight cancer hard and dirty and to help promote the hope of kicking the runaway epidemic in the ass. I had my own part of the universe to deal with it. In my hospital, each patient, each case, it was enough…for now.

I filled out the necessary paperwork after talking to Dr. Pierce in detail. It would take time to call myself an oncologist. I would have to start from the bottom, shadowing the more experienced doctors in the field. To me, the extra training would be well worth it. Pierce was thrilled with my decision and wished me the best. I knew the hardest part would be to try to sway Rose, but as far as following my heart was concerned, I’d done right by it in this case.

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