Page 17 of The Fall

He roughly grabbed my arm and led me outside. Once we were far enough away, he tore into me.

“So, you dress provocatively and go on a date with an old boyfriend who wanted to pop your cherry! My mom heard that disgusting shit!”

“Oh, God.” I wanted a blanket, no a tarp, no a nun’s habit. I was thoroughly ashamed and hated myself.

“Disgusted, it’s all I can think about looking at you right now.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. I haven’t done anything wrong!” I felt my cheeks grow hot as he glared at me in front of the valet.“I’m sorry, all right, but you’re overreacting,” I reasoned.

“I saw the way he was looking at you, Dallas. How fucking stupid do you think I am? Now I have to explain to my mom why my girlfriend is out in a fuck me dress with another man!”

“Watch your mouth,” I snapped, ready to stand my ground.

“Really, and I suppose you’re the voice for the morally sound, Dallas?”

“That’s enough! I swear to you. You keep talking to me like that, you will be in for a fight! Who the hell do you think you—”

“I’m jealous!” he admitted, raking his hands through his hair. He looked at me in defeat, and I felt tears threaten. “God, I’m sorry, Dallas. You look so fucking beautiful. I really can’t take this!” He looked over my shoulder and nodded. “Enjoy your date.”

“It’s not like that, Josh!”

“It’s exactly like that, Dallas,” he snapped, turning abruptly and leaving me as Dean approached.

“Sorry, that was…unexpected,” I offered as he looked behind him at a retreating Josh. “This does look rather suspicious,” I said, looking down at my filthy fucking dress. I would burn it. I was guilty for more reasons than one—the way I was dressed and the fact that a few minutes ago, I’d been replaying one of the most amazing sexual experiences of my life with Dean.

“That’s what you do to men, Dallas,” he chuckled.

“Thanks for siding with him. It’s been years, Dean. You don’t know me anymore!”

“I just remember how badly it hurt when you threw me in the garbage,” he remarked, unlocking his car.

“I most certainly did not!” I huffed, refusing to let him get my door for me.

“Yes, you did.” He started the car, and we made it back to the hospital garage within a few minutes. He walked me to my car door, though I told him it wasn’t necessary.

“Welcome home, Dean.”

He didn’t say a word as I stood facing him, my back to my door. He grabbed my hand after a moment, then kissed the back of it. The years melted away one by one as we watched each other. We were on dangerous ground. The pull was impossible, and if I stood staring into his crystal depths much longer, I wouldn’t be able to resist him.

“Maybe I don’t know you anymore, but I knew you, Dallas, and I made damn sure you knew me.” He leaned in close, leaving me breathless at his scent alone. He smelled like a mix of wood and sea, and it consumed my senses. In an inescapable fog, he inched closer, and I was in sensory overload with the bright blue of his eyes beckoning me like they always had. I whimpered and wet my lips as he came closer, and—he was engaged. Engaged. Engaged!

“Engaged!” We both jumped at the sound of my voice, breaking our daze.

He didn’t say a word as I opened my car door. I sat in my seat fuming, mad at myself and him. “I’m with Josh, and you’re getting married. Go home, Dean.”

I shut my door, then started my car. He stood near my door briefly, raised his hand, pressed two fingers to his lips, and then to the glass on my door before he turned and walked away. The recognition of that gesture had my chest burning in seconds.

I watched him drive away and sank into my seat as more memories of Dean came flooding back. I thought I’d closed that door, sealed it, and he had blown it all to hell in a matter of days.

“Did you meet her at Columbia?”

“Yes, my first year.”

For years, I’d waited for the answer to that question. I hated my answer.

I had to stay away from him, especially if he was inclined to make our past more present. I’d come too far, gone through far too much when it came to him. I was a fool to think I could play civil when my heart had waged war on him so long ago.

I couldn’t believe he had almost just kissed me. I also couldn’t believe how badly I wished I’d let him. What the hell was he thinking? And what did he really think of me to try something like that? How the hell could I possibly entertain him after what happened? I needed a man with a solid foundation, preferably without Helena, and who hadn’t torn my heart to shreds.

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