Page 91 of Love and Other Lost Things

“Jane, tell me what you need. I want to be here for you, but if you need a little space, I can go.”

Jane stared at him for so long, exhaustion tugging on every feature of her face, that he began to wonder if she’d heard what he said. And then she slid off the stool and slowly crossed the room until she was standing in front of him. “I don’t want you to go.”

He released a breath.

“I want you to take me to bed.” She took his hand, tugging him toward the hallway. “Right now.”

Wordlessly, he followed her, stepping carefully so the creak of the old wooden staircase wouldn’t wake Scarlett or Mrs. McCaffrey. It had been years since he’d been on the second floor of the house. He remembered how nervous he used to feel when they hung out in her bedroom, the intensity of knowing she’d let him into her most personal space. He used to perch on the edge of the green-striped bedspread, keenly aware that Jane slept there every night. Nothing had ever happened there—not in her bedroom anyway—but that bedspread had starred in more of his teenage fantasies than he could count.

And now, so much had changed, and nothing had changed at all. They weren’t kids anymore, and this wasn’t a fantasy, but he was filled with that same anticipation, that same need for her.

She led him into a dark room at the end of the hallway. Vaguely, he could make out a queen-sized bed against the far wall, flanked by two side tables. She didn’t turn on a light, just closed the door and pulled him over to the bed. He sat down, facing her, and she climbed on his lap, her legs bent and straddling him, breasts pressed against his chest.

His hand automatically reached for her hip, but he forced himself to stop there. “Jane,” he murmured, “are you sure that after everything today?—”

Jane leaned even closer. “Please, Nik,” she whispered against his mouth. “You’re the only person in the world who can make this okay. Please let me feel something that’s real and right and beautiful.” And then with the slightest tilt of her head, she was kissing him, sliding her tongue along his bottom lip, grazing it with her teeth.

Giving in to her need, to his need, he tumbled back onto the bed, pulling her on top of him. In a flurry of hands and mouths and clothes peeling off, he rolled over and slid inside her, savoring the way her eyes closed and lips parted as she exhaled a low moan. He moved slowly and then faster, following her cues, pouring all of himself into giving her the joy and pleasure she deserved.

Afterward, as she lay across the sheets in a slant of light shining through the window from the streetlamp outside, a tear trickled down her cheek.

“Hey.” Nik rolled to his side, feathering a hand across her shoulder. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He’d tried to be careful, conscious of her injuries. He looked at the freshly mottled skin on her arms, and a jagged red line along her collarbone from what looked like a surgery incision from a broken bone.

“No, you didn’t hurt me. You could never hurt me.” She bit her lip. “But… Nik, I do have scars.” She grasped her wrist with her opposite hand, running her thumb absently over a faded crosshatch of lines. More stitches, probably from another surgery or broken bone. “And I need you to understand that I’m not the girl you knew ten years ago.”

His heart ached. “Jane,” Nik whispered. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He leaned forward and pressed a trail of light kisses across the scar on her collarbone. “Each one of these scars is a place where you healed and grew stronger. And the ones inside you, too. I’m in awe of your incredible bravery. I don’t want the Jane that I knew a decade ago. Believe me, I loved her. But I only want the woman that you are right now.”

Another tear spilled over. “But can we move past all the pain? The secrets?” she asked, echoing his fears from earlier. “And Scarlett. If we find out she’s yours, how will you ever forgive me?”

Nik shuddered, remembering the shot of pure terror when he’d discovered Matteo on the stretcher and feared the worst about Jane and Scarlett. “Jane, I love you. When I was in the ER trying to save him, before I even knew it was Matteo, I just kept thinking about my dad. How he was around the same age when he died. How that could be me in ten or fifteen years.” Through the darkness, his eyes found hers. “I hope Scarlett is mine.”

Jane’s chest hitched and another tear spilled over.

“But if she’s not, it’s just DNA. I want you both in my life, and I’m not about to waste any more time.” Nik slid a hand to her cheek to wipe away the dampness. “So, are we in this together? Finally? Forever?”

And the next thing he knew, she was in his arms, her mouth pressed to his. He fell back against the pillows, his hands roaming over her bare back, her shoulders, feathering across her scars.

Jane paused, pulling back just far enough to look into his eyes, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “Finally. Forever.”

EPILOGUE

NINE MONTHS LATER

“Can I get you anything before my shift is over?” Jane propped a hip against the table in the back corner of the Grassroots Café, pen and paper in hand.

“Just a peanut butter brownie for my girlfriend.”

“I already put in the order,” she said with a grin, leaning down to press a kiss on Nik’s mouth. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her down on his lap.

“Ew. Gross!” came Scarlett’s voice from behind them. “Mom! Nik! Please. One of my friends might see you.”

Jane looked up to find her daughter pressing her hands to her eyes as if she didn’t want to be blinded by their public display of affection. Jane couldn’t help but laugh. Scarlett was in fifth grade at Linden Falls Elementary and, at ten and a half, she suddenly found everything about her mother to be deeply embarrassing. Especially if her friends were around.

Jane rolled her eyes at Nik but she slid off his lap. “I’ll go and close out,” she said. “And then Nik and I will go someplace where we won’t mortify you anymore.”

Nik gave Scarlett a grin. “Can you at least sit and tell me about your day?” He hitched a chin at the opposite chair.

Jane’s heart warmed as Scarlett dropped into the seat and began chattering with Nik about the super hard math test she had coming up. As Jane crossed the room to close out her tabs, she watched Scarlett pull out her math book and slide it to Nik so he could talk her through a problem.

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