Page 48 of Love and Other Lost Things

“Breathe through it,” Matteo said, repeating the words of the woman in the childbirth video they’d watched a few weeks ago. “You’re doing great.”

Jane gave him a weak smile. Mom wasn’t there, but Matteo was.

Through the entire drive to the hospital, the elevator ride to the birth room, and finally, through twelve hours of labor, Matteo held her hand and coached her through the contractions with sweat beading his forehead and anxiety clouding his features. “You can do it, Jane. Push.”

Later, while Jane held the baby against her chest, Matteo stood next to the bed and gazed down at them with a proud, tired smile. “You’re amazing, Jane.” He stroked her hair, and Jane closed her eyes, overcome with emotion.

The first few weeks were like a dream. Scarlett took to nursing right away, and she slept most of the time, so Jane was able to rest and heal from childbirth. Matteo went back to work at the club, but he’d stop in every few hours to check on them, to make sure Scarlett was nursing and that Jane had enough to eat.

Jane hadn’t been in touch with Mom since her call all those months ago, but she sent a photo of Scarlett along with her phone number.

“She’s gorgeous, Jane. I can’t believe you have a baby.” There were tears in Mom’s voice when the call came through. “My baby has a baby.”

“The doctor said she’s perfectly healthy and right on track with weight gain.”

“And your—” Mom hesitated. “The father of the baby?”

Jane told Mom a little about Matteo—how much he loved Scarlett, what a good father he was turning out to be.

“And he’s nice to you? He treats you well?”

“Yes. He’s wonderful.”

Mom’s relieved sigh carried through the phone.

“I’ll send more pictures,” Jane offered.

Mom was silent for a moment. “Maybe you shouldn’t. I don’t want your father to find them. Maybe we could just talk every now and then when Dad is on one of his fishing trips.”

A wave of pain slowly rolled over Jane. “I understand,” she finally managed to choke out.

But she didn’t. And she never would.

When Scarlett was a month old, she started waking up every hour and screaming at the top of her lungs. Nothing Jane did would soothe her—not nursing, not bouncing her, not pacing back and forth across the living room.

“What the hell is wrong with that baby?” Matteo snapped, after the fourth night without any sleep.

“I don’t know,” Jane said, so tired she could cry. “The doctor said it’s colic.”

“Well, get her some medicine for that.”

“There isn’t any.” Jane bounced Scarlett up and down in her arms. And then up and down again. She was so tired. “We just have to keep trying to soothe her.”

“This is ridiculous,” Matteo snarled. “I need my sleep. Some of us have to work. I can’t just be lying around all day like you can.”

“I don’t just—” But Jane stopped. He was tired, they both were. Arguing would only start a fight.

The next night, Scarlett’s crying seemed to intensify. Jane paced back and forth, back and forth across the living room, trying to shush the baby, to keep her from waking Matteo. He did have to work. “Please go to sleep,” she whispered, over and over. But Scarlett just screamed louder.

Behind her, the bedroom door banged open. Matteo stormed into the living room. “You need to get her out of here.” He waved in Scarlett’s direction.

Exhausted and on the verge of crying herself, Jane sputtered, “What do you mean get her out of here? Where am I going to take her?”

“Just…” Matteo pressed a hand to his temples as if the noise was going to make his head explode. “Get. Her. Out.” He grabbed Jane by the arm and pulled her across the living room.

“What are you doing?” She tried to break free, but his grip tightened. And then the next thing she knew, Matteo had opened the door and shoved her and Scarlett out in the hall. “I need my damn sleep.”

Jane’s mouth dropped open. “Matteo?—”

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