Page 23 of Love and Other Lost Things

“Of course he got over me.” Jane tossed her scarf on the bench. “I mean, you’ve seen him around.” She pictured that patch of golden skin exposed by the V-neck of his shirt, and the way the lines of his muscles had contracted when he tossed the snow shovel aside. “Nik probably has people of all genders throwing themselves at him.” Jane bit her lip. “He probably has a girlfriend.”

Mom nodded. “Oh, I’m sure he does.”

Jane hated the way that simple sentence seemed to stab her straight in the heart. Did Nik say he has a girlfriend? Well, if he did, and if it hurt to hear, it was Jane’s own fault for bringing it up.

“But that doesn’t mean he ever got over you,” Mom continued.

“Who’s Nik?”

Jane whirled around to find Scarlett standing in the doorway of the living room. When Jane was Scarlett’s age, Nik had been the most important person in her life. Jane had been sure she was going to marry him. Hell, almost ten years later, she’d still been sure she’d marry Nik. And now, ten years after that… “He’s nobody.”

Mom cleared her throat, giving Jane a stern look. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.”

Jane sighed. “He’s not nobody. He’s an old friend from when I was a kid. He stopped by to say hi.”

“Your mom and Nik were the best of friends. They were so inseparable, they used to finish each other’s sentences. And then when they got older, I’m pretty sure they spent every single day together after school.”

Mom didn’t mention the part about how Jane had always gone to the Andinos’ because she didn’t want Dad to come home early and find Nik at their house. Just in case Dad tried to drive Nik away—the same way he’d done to Mrs. Andino.

Jane used to leave Nik’s house and hurry home each evening before Dad got off work, making sure she was in her room studying before his patrol car pulled into the drive. She’d brace herself, listening for signs of his mood. If he rapped on her door to say hello, it meant he’d had a good day. If he went in the kitchen to yell at Mom… not so good.

But none of that was something Scarlett needed to know about. She had her own experiences of tiptoeing around someone else’s moods.

“Was Nik your boyfriend?” Scarlett asked.

Jane felt her face flame, even all these years later, at the memory of Nik’s mouth on her neck, his hands sliding across her heated skin. “No. Just friends,” she said, in a quieter voice.

“So, Daddy was your only boyfriend?”

Jane hesitated. Though she’d been with Matteo for a decade, and they’d never married—thank God—it sounded odd to call him her boyfriend. At Scarlett’s age, Jane had imagined that a boyfriend would hold her hand, take her out on a date, buy her flowers. Matteo had done some of those things, at first. But it was hard to remember them now. “I guess you could say that.”

“Were you and Daddy inseparable?” Scarlett asked. “Did you finish each other’s sentences?” She looked down at the Ken and Barbie Legos in her hand, her face shining and hopeful. “Were you in love?”

TEN

TEN YEARS AGO

Jane grasped the handle beneath the Help Wanted sign duct-taped to the door at eye level. She could do this. She had to do this.

Teetering on her high heels, Jane stepped over the threshold, out of the California sun and into the shade of the club. The door swung shut behind her, and Jane was plunged into darkness. At just past eleven in the morning, the place was empty, the only illumination coming from the emergency signs marking the exits and a glowing blue lamp hanging over the bar.

She’d never been in a place like this in her life. The only bar in Linden Falls was the Harp and Fiddle, but since she was only eighteen, she’d never been allowed inside. Still, from the few glimpses she’d caught walking past the window, it was more of a small-town pub, with a scratched wooden bar and worn leather couches.

Jane blinked to adjust her eyes, gazing from the row of tufted-velvet booths to the shiny line of liquor bottles on the shelf, and then the DJ booth suspended above the dance floor.

The Harp and Fiddle was nothing like this.

Jane straightened her mini skirt. Linden Falls was a world away, and here in LA, she was no longer that girl whose dad would lose it if she was caught with a beer in her hand. Here in LA, she could be whoever she wanted.

Jane made her way across the empty dance floor, the tap of her heels echoing around the cavernous room. “Hello?” she called tentatively, looking for signs of a bartender, or maybe one of those bouncers who usually stood out front. At the long chrome bar, Jane paused, peering over the side, but all she found were rows of glasses and mini fridges holding champagne bottles. Maybe nobody was here? It was early for a club to be open. What if the door was left unlocked by mistake, and now she was breaking and entering? If she ended up in jail, nobody was going to bail her out.

But then again, she wouldn’t have to pay for her cheap motel room tonight either. How bad had it gotten that this fact felt like a silver lining? Jane breathed out a half-laugh.

“Can I help you?”

Jane pushed away from the bar, spinning around to find a man in a doorway under the sign leading to the bathrooms. Though he stood across the room, Jane could see that he was tall and muscular by how well he filled out the doorframe.

“Uh, hi,” she said, straightening her skirt.

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