Page 11 of Love and Other Lost Things

Jane sensed her opening. “So, can I come? Please? I can pay you gas money.”

Kait waved her off. “Keep your money. You’re going to need it in LA. It’s a hard city.”

Los Angeles couldn’t be that much harder than what Jane was leaving behind. At least in LA she’d be in charge of her life. She had a little over a thousand dollars zipped into her pocket, most of it graduation gifts or money she’d earned babysitting. She wasn’t dumb enough to think it would get her very far. But she’d find a job. Maybe she’d even find a thrift store guitar and start playing gigs—real gigs—and not just the open mic at the Grassroots Café.

It wasn’t what she’d planned for her life. But maybe this wasn’t a disaster. Maybe it was actually an opportunity. Anything could happen in Los Angeles. Dreams could come true.

And with me out of the picture, Dad will leave Nik alone.

At the thought of putting three thousand miles between her and Nik, Jane’s heart faltered. Maybe once he got out of Linden Falls, she could reach out to him, and Dad would never know. Maybe their love wasn’t truly lost forever, just for a little while. She had to believe that this wouldn’t be the end. But for now, Jane had to keep going, keep moving forward, just like the car Kait was steering back onto the highway.

FIVE

PRESENT DAY

Jane stomped down Mom’s porch steps and took off down Lancaster Road without a destination in mind, needing to get out of there, to move after her long drive and… everything that had happened that evening.

It must have snowed recently because the drifts shoved up against the edge of the yards were still fluffy and white, not dingy with dirt and pollution from the road. The crunch of salt under her shoes was the only sound other than the occasional bark of a dog inside one of the houses. Those dogs probably weren’t used to strangers walking on these roads, and she was a stranger in this town now.

Jane continued down the street, taking one turn and then another, more by muscle memory than conscious plan. At each corner, the neighborhood made a slow transformation. Large Victorians with sprawling yards became smaller cottages and then double wides parked on modest lots with varying levels of upkeep.

Soon, Jane found herself standing in front of a small bungalow set back off the road behind a sprawling maple tree. The house appeared to be in good repair, with freshly painted wooden siding and dormant flower beds that would be bursting with color in spring. A light glowed by the front door, reflecting off the snow and illuminating a porch swing that wobbled gently in the breeze.

How many hours had Jane spent on that swing with her shoulder bumping up against Nik’s as they shared a set of earphones and a plate of Mrs. Andino’s cookies? How many conversations had that old swing heard about their plans to break free of this town? How had it never once occurred to them that their futures would be anything other than intertwined?

Jane jumped at the whoosh of a car approaching and the glow of headlights cutting across the darkness. She shoved her hands into her pockets, put her head down, and kept walking, but the car slowed as it drew nearer. When it was right beside her, the window rolled down.

“Jane McCaffrey, is that you?”

Jane squinted into the darkness of the car at a woman with a wide smile and Nik’s dark eyes. “Mrs. Andino?”

The woman shoved the car into park and flung the door open, and before Jane knew it, a wool coat scraped against her cheek and the smell of vanilla surrounded her as Mrs. Andino wrapped her in a hug. “I had no idea you were in town!” She stepped back, still clutching Jane’s shoulders. “Look at you. You’re gorgeous.”

Despite herself, Jane smiled. “Look at you. You haven’t aged one bit.” It was the truth. Unlike Jane’s mother, Mrs. Andino seemed frozen in time. Her long, black hair only held a touch of gray and her face was as unlined and youthful as the last time Jane had seen it. But more than that, Mrs. Andino’s smile radiated the same warmth and welcome it always had, and Jane didn’t deserve it. Her heart tilted as she swiped at her eyes, hoping the darkness would mask the tears there.

“How are you?” Jane asked in a wobbly voice.

“Busy with the holidays right around the corner. Everyone wants a clean house for their holiday parties. I’m only getting home now.”

Jane was surprised that Mrs. Andino was working as late into the evenings as always. Her job was to clean the McMansions that developers had built on the old Baker farm out on Route 8. Part of Nik’s motivation to become a doctor had been that his mother wouldn’t have to scrub rich people’s toilets anymore. Jane did some quick math in her head. He was probably a resident at the hospital now, which meant he was in training and wouldn’t make a high salary for another couple of years.

“I imagine you’re here to see your mother,” Mrs. Andino asked. “She’s had a hard time of it.”

Jane nodded, waiting for the condolences about her father to follow, but Mrs. Andino remained silent. Had she known he wasn’t the man everyone in this town built him up to be? It was a subject Jane had never broached with anyone. But Mrs. Andino was more observant than most.

The older woman rubbed her hands together. “What are you doing out here in the cold, and the dark, too?”

Jane shrugged and gave a vague wave of her hand. “Oh, just out for a walk. Enjoying the snow. We don’t get much of that in California.”

Mrs. Andino didn’t look surprised by that statement. So, she’d heard the rumors that Jane was in California. Or Nik had told her.

“You didn’t walk over here looking for Nik, did you?” Mrs. Andino asked. “He has his own little place out on Sand Hill Lane now.”

Jane shook her head. “Oh—no. No, of course not. I—uh, I saw Nik earlier today.”

Mrs. Andino clutched her hands to her chest. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear the two of you reconnected. Nik was absolutely devastated when you left. I tried to tell him that sometimes young people need to spread their wings, but there’s no talking sense into a teenage boy in love.” She shook her head with a laugh. “I’m happy to see you two moved past all that.”

In love? Nik had been her best friend in the world. For one beautiful—terrible—night, he’d been so much more. But then Jane had left, and she and Nik had lost the chance at love. In the decade that followed, she’d shoved that night—and Nik—into a dark corner of her memory, just like everything else about her past. But being here in Linden Falls, with Nik’s presence everywhere she turned… with the heat of his hand still lingering on her cheek… with words like love hanging in the frozen air…

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