Page 9 of Love and Other Lost Things

She’d made it another quarter mile when a car rounded the bend up ahead, its headlights shining in her eyes as it came closer. Jane held her breath, willing it to keep going like the others had, but instead of speeding past, the vehicle began to slow. Jane didn’t recognize it—a huge black SUV with tinted windows—and her heart began to hammer as it pulled up beside her.

She’d spent so much of the walk worrying over people she knew coming along that it hadn’t occurred to her to worry about someone she didn’t know. A strange man might be very interested to find a teenage girl walking alone at night. And she was in no condition to run or fight back.

Jane gripped the straps of her backpack. Would the adrenaline come to her aid, even with her bruises and what she suspected was a cracked rib? She wasn’t that far from town. Maybe there was a house over the hill where someone might hear her scream?

Jane stood frozen, debating what to do, when the car window began to slide down, and a deep, throaty female voice said, “Jane McCaffrey, is that you?” An overhead light switched on in the car.

Jane sagged with relief and slowly made her way up the embankment toward the driver’s side window, where a woman with cropped strawberry-blond hair and piercing blue eyes peered out into the dusk. Kait Butler, the owner of the autobody shop in town. Jane didn’t really know the older woman, but despite what Dad used to say, Jane was pretty sure Kait wasn’t someone she had to fear would hurt her. Or rat her out.

Dad refused to service the family car or the police vehicles at Butler’s Garage, even though it was right in town. Instead, he used a business over in Glendale for repairs. Dad made it known that he wasn’t a fan of Kait Butler. He used to complain that she was running an illegal racket out of the back of her shop, selling stolen car parts. But despite his suspicions and investigations into the matter, he could never prove it.

When he’d complain about it over dinner, Jane secretly wondered if Dad hated Kait because she was breaking the law or if it was because she was a woman. According to Dad, women didn’t belong fixing cars. Or walking around looking like a man and doing God-knows-what with other women, he’d grumble. It’s not natural.

For her part, Jane had always secretly admired Kait.

Tall and lean, with her hair shaved on the sides and tattoos covering her from wrist to shoulder, Kait always struck Jane as someone who didn’t give a shit what Dad—or anyone—thought of her. And she certainly didn’t seem desperate for his business or concerned that she might get arrested. She moved around town with a confidence that Jane could only imagine, smirking at the haughty looks from judgmental people like Mrs. Swanson. But Kait had always been friendly to her and Nik, giving them a nod and a smile when they stopped in the minimart attached to the autobody shop to buy snacks and drinks.

Now as Jane approached the car, Kait gave her that same nod, though in place of the smile, her face was creased with concern. “What are you doing out here all alone at night?”

Jane stopped just outside the pool of light spilling from the car onto the roadside berm. Maybe the darkness would hide the worst of her bruises. Kait gave her a long stare, her mouth hardening. But to Jane’s relief, she didn’t comment.

Jane hesitated. The more she interacted with people from town, the more likely it was that it would get back to Dad. But it was getting dark, her shoulders were killing her, and her ribs felt like they were rattling with every step she took. “I’m heading to Westbrook,” she said, shifting the heavy bag on her back.

Kait nodded slowly. “Yeah? You want a ride?”

“That would be great. Thanks.” As gingerly as she could, Jane shrugged off her backpack, and the weight of it nearly knocked her sideways. She was used to carrying her guitar in a backpack case to school, and over to the Grassroots Café for Saturday evening open mics. The bulk of Dad’s old camping backpack felt completely wrong in comparison.

Jane ran her thumb over the calluses on her fingertips that had built up over years of playing the guitar. The loss of that instrument was so small after everything else that had happened. But somehow letting go of that gift made it all feel so final.

“Where can I drop you off?” Kait’s voice cut into her thoughts.

Jane reached for the car door. Home. For a moment, she considered asking Kait to take her back to Linden Falls. Maybe, in a couple of days, Dad’s anger would cool, and he would change his mind about college and the rest of it. Maybe if she apologized and behaved perfectly, she could smooth it all over.

But the thought of it made Jane’s stomach churn. She’d been acting like the perfect daughter and smoothing things over for her entire life. She’d gotten good grades, sang in the church choir, and kept her room clean. Most importantly, she’d stayed out of the way. Jane knew other kids sometimes defied their parents, talking back or staying out past curfew. But not Jane. Never, ever Jane.

And still it hadn’t kept Dad from pushing her down the stairs the moment she’d stepped out of line. If she went crawling back now, he’d only use it against her.

Jane had only been about nine at the time, but could still remember the day Mom had asked Dad to let her take a trip to Canada to visit her hometown outside of Ottawa. An old friend was getting married and had invited Mom to be in the bridal party. Mom’s fatal mistake was revealing how badly she wanted to go. Letting the longing flash across her face, the pleading creep into her voice. Not only did Mom miss that wedding, she never went back to Canada again. Dad derived a sick pleasure from withholding the things Mom wanted most.

Jane had no doubt he’d do the same to her. He’d ruin her life, and Nik’s right along with it.

She yanked the car door open and set the backpack on the backseat of the SUV. Then she slid in next to Kait. “The bus station, please.”

Kait flipped off the overhead light and shifted the car into drive. “So, you’re heading to New York City?”

Jane blinked. “Um.” She hadn’t gotten as far as to figure out where she was going.

Kait gave Jane one more long look. “Only bus heading out of town this time of night is going to New York.”

It occurred to Jane that she shouldn’t say any more. If Dad came looking for her, the fewer people who knew anything, the better. But maybe it was the darkness that enveloped her, or her relief at not having to limp along at the side of the road, because the next thing she knew, the words, “Yep. I’m going to New York,” popped out. New York doesn’t sound so bad. She could blend in in New York City. She could hide there. Maybe she could even start a new life.

“You and your friends just graduated, right?” Kait tugged at the steering wheel and pulled the car into a U-turn on the road, accelerating in the direction Jane had been walking. “I saw the signs all over town. Congratulations, graduating class of Linden Falls. Are you headed to New York for college in the fall?”

Jane thought about that acceptance letter to Cornell that had been hanging on her bulletin board since the day it arrived in the mail this past February. It was supposed to be her ticket out. Their ticket out. Nik had a matching one hanging in his bedroom next to the letter about the full scholarship the Linden Falls town committee had granted him thanks to his excellent grades and community service.

His mom was a single mother who’d started working as a house cleaner to stay afloat after his dad passed away years ago. Nik would never have been able to afford to join Jane at Cornell if Mrs. Andino had to pay for full tuition. When the news came in about the scholarship, they almost couldn’t believe how well it had all worked out.

Until it hadn’t.

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