Page 9 of Baby Love

Everyone jumps up, applauding and patting us on the backs, telling us what a good job we did and how good we looked dancing together. A sheen of sweat sparkles on Spin’s brow, and we’re both breathing hard, but he looks as happy as I feel.

“Wow!”

I startle, not having realized that Khun Lee came back into the room. Her smile is wide.

“We weren’t wrong to cast you two together. Cream just told me you performed this play in university.”

“The production lasted two weeks with a crowded house for every performance,” Taey says, putting away her phone. She looks at me and Spin. “You two were so good.”

“Fuck, that was hot,” I hear Daeng say and turn to find him standing close to Spin. Not liking that at all, I take Spin by the hand and pull him to me.

“Khun Aat is on his way up. He’s going to work on some scenes with you,” Khun Lee tells us.

I nod, wiping the sweat from my face with my sleeve. As I head for the bottles of water on the refreshment table, I hear Khun Lee tell Daeng to focus on his ship.

“That was fun,” Spin says, grinning at me when I hand him a bottle of water. “You did so well remembering the steps, P’Park.”

“So did you. When we started, it just all came back.”

He nods in agreement, and I’m temporarily lost in the look that passes between us until I remember my water and take a long drink.

“Let’s sit and look at the script before the acting coach gets here,” Spin suggests. I can’t help but admire how focused and serious about the job he is. Some actors aren’t like that, preferring to horse around when they should be preparing to be filmed. I sit down next to him on a wide chair, and we bend over his open script, our arms pressed together. While we go over our lines, he often touches me. I know he’s just like that—a touchy-feely kind of person—but I can’t help but wonder if maybe he likes to touch me a little more than he does other people. I find myself hoping that’s true.

Chapter Five: Spin

Ilost my mother when I was just a kid, and my father wasn’t a kind man. The combination could have made me withdraw from people, but instead it caused me to seek them out, longing for human touch and companionship. The best way I can explain it is that being physically close to people I care about is somehow vital to my well-being. It makes me feel secure and content in my skin. So, why does being close to P’Park make my heart gallop and the back of my neck tingle? When we performed in the play, I developed a crush on him, so of course I was rattled every time he came near me. But what’s my excuse now? A lot of time has passed. We’re virtual strangers. But dancing with him again reminded me how good it felt to be in his arms, and sitting beside him now, his body turned toward mine as we go over the script, I feel breathless and murky-headed .

“Good morning!” Khun Aat, the acting coach, strides up and pulls a chair close to where P’Park and I sit. He’s a small man with a sharp nose, trimmed goatee, and a smile that immediately puts me at ease.

Suddenly realizing my hand is resting on P’Park’s thick thigh, I jerk it away in mortification, proving my thought that he affects me differently than others do.

“Park, it’s good to see you.” Khun Aat turns to me. “Hello, Spin. I’m looking forward to working with you. Let’s talk about the characters you two are playing, starting with your character, Boom.”

For the next hour, we discuss my character’s personality and motivation. When I first made up my mind to audition for the series, despite Cushion telling me repeatedly that the character of Boom would be perfect for me, I auditioned for the part Aod is playing. But the producers asked me to read for Boom, and I have to admit it feels like playing myself, as Boom is shy, yet determined; independent, yet affectionate; stubborn, yet giving.

When I tell Khun Aat this, he warns me that playing someone so like myself might be more difficult than I think.

“You’ll have to face some demons,” he warns me. I nod even though I’m not entirely sure what he means by that. What could be easier than being yourself? I’m excited for the challenge, though. My last part was pretty dry.

When Khun Aat launches into what P’Park’s character, Khao, is like, I watch P’Park listen to him. I learned back when we did the play that he’s a focused person and something of a perfectionist, and I enjoy watching the wheels turning in his head as he processes things.

Eventually, Khun Aat finishes with us, stands, and claps his hands together.

“Let’s run through a scene. Page thirty-seven.”

As we read our lines aloud, Khun Aat stops us now and then to make suggestions.

“Boom should be more wary here. He’s feeling raw due to a past relationship that’s recently come to an abrupt close. Spin, can you relate to that?”

I nod. I definitely could. Although P’Bang and I never dated, it felt like we did. We held hands, put our arms around each other. He took care of me. People saw us as a couple and said our names together. We went places and spent long periods of time in each other’s company. We shared a kiss—more than once because we had to do several takes. To me, it had felt like the beginning of something no matter how many times I reminded myself that what we were doing was acting and fanservice and definitely not real.

Still, when our ship was well-received, I expected to stay with P’Bang and be his partner for a long time. When that didn’t happen, it felt like a break-up.

Khun Aat’s advice changes the way I read the line, and a thrill runs through me when I feel the difference. The scene we’re reading occurs later in the script when Boom and Khao are well acquainted, and, gradually, we sink into our roles and relax with each other.

“We want to feel the sexual tension here,” Khun Aat says, stopping us again later in the scene. “Park, as Khao, this is the scene where you realize you’re attracted to Boom. You want this man you’ve gotten to know so well over the past few weeks, but even so, a part of him is still a mystery to you. You never expected this, as you have only been attracted to women in the past.” He turns to me. “Spin, Boom is becoming aware that Khao is attracted to him, and it’s frightening. You don’t want a repeat of your last relationship. However, at the midpoint of this scene, the pull becomes irresistible. Unfortunately, we can’t change the sequence of filming due to the availability of the house, so you’re going to have to work hard to make your established connection believable onscreen.”

We go through the scene several times, just reading it, and then we try it while blocking out the movements. I have forgotten how crazy it feels to have P’Park so focused on me—he’s such a strong presence, emanating warmth and vitality, like his body’s buzzing beneath his skin. It almost feels like he’s a battery recharging me. It isn’t any wonder I crushed hard on him years ago. Dutifully, I remind myself this isn’t real and that the last thing I need is another crush to complicate things, but at the same time I’m so thankful to be in a partnership with him. I feel like we can do great things together.

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