Page 18 of Conquering Conner

My dad was already gone.

I’d hoped that with three days to talk about it, everyone would’ve founds something else to talk about. No such luck. As soon as I hit campus, I feel a million eyes following me as I walk. Hear them whisper. Across the quad, I spot my brother, standing with a large group of his friends. Conner is there too, laughing and talking loudly, along with the rest of them. Jessica is there too, standing close enough to him to cause a clench in my gut.

“Hey, slugger.”

I look over to see Tess fall into step beside me. Seeing her makes me instantly feel better. So much so that I let her steer me to a stop under a tree.

“Hi.” I offer her a smile before flicking a quick glance at Conner over her shoulder. It’s only been a few days, but I feel like it’s been years since I saw him. Is it possible that he’s even more beautiful? More perfect? I tear my gaze away from him and focus on Tess. “Sorry, I haven’t been around.”

“Are you shitting me?” Tess rolls her eyes. “What you should be sorry for is that you didn’t let me in on the Jessica Renfro smack-down.” She grins up at me. “You’re a terrible friend.”

“I know…” I can’t stop looking at him, which is weird because I can’t seem to take a deep breath when I do. “Next time, I’ll send you an invite.”

“You better.” Her grin fades. “Was it bad? When your mom found out? Did she…” She lets her question trail off. She knows how my mom is. That she has a temper. Likes to take it out on me.

“I didn’t tell her.” Across the quad, I watch my brother high-five Conner, both of them laughing while, Jessica sidles closer, flipping her perfect blonde hair over her shoulder. “I hid at the library for three days and got my dad to sign my referral.”

Tess’s face splits into another wide grin. “Nice!” she crows, giving my delinquent behavior her stamp of approval, before following my gaze across the quad. As soon as she sees where my attention is aimed she sighs. “You should just go over there, Hen,” she says in a low voice. “He’d—”

“I broke up with him.”

When she doesn’t answer me, I look at her. She’s staring at me like I’m speaking in tongues. “It wasn’t going to work. I was fooling myself to think it would.”

“Did he finally try to fuck you?” Her cheeks flush, heating her olive skin with a rosy glow. “Did he—”

“No.” I shake my head at her. “I tried to.”

Tess’s eyes pop so wide for a second, I’m afraid they’re going to fall out of her head. “And?”

Please don’t make me do this, Henley.

I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. “He turned me down.”

“What?” Now her eyes narrow on my face like I’m not making any sense. “Why would he—”

“Because he doesn’t want me, Tess.” I think about what Jessica said to me that day in the library. The way Conner looked at me that night, like I was torturing him. “He never really liked me. He feels sorry for me—that’s all.”

“Bullshit.” She shakes her head at me, hands stacked on her hips. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, considering who I’m saying it about, but I saw the two of you together, remember? That boy is nuts about you.”

“He’s really not. Maybe he thought he was but then when it came to it he couldn’t go through with it.” I laugh a little, the sound of it sad and a little frustrated. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?” I look away from her because I can’t look at her. While her flawless olive skin and long dark hair, Tess is beautiful. She’d have guys lined up around the block if she gave half a shit about attracting their attention. Being me is something she can never understand.

Like he’s a magnet I’m not strong enough to pull away from, I find Conner in the crowd, just in time to see Jessica slip her hand into his. He doesn’t look at her, doesn’t stop his conversation, he just pulls away. Seeing his reaction to her shouldn’t make me happy. I broke up with him. I told him I didn’t want him anymore.

But it does.

And I do.

Just because he can’t stand Jessica doesn’t mean he loves you. It doesn’t mean he wants you.

Like he can feel me looking at him, Conner stops talking in mid-conversation, his gaze snapping into mine. He sees me. Caught me looking at him.

Shit.

He turns and starts walking toward me, leaving every one of his friends behind without so much as a backward glance. I can see Ryan behind him, watching him walk away. Jessica. All the popular kids. All confused by his abrupt departure. Wondering where’s going all of a sudden.

He’s coming straight at me. Pushing past people trying to stop him to talk, still looking right at me.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

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