Of course, he didn’t want to fuck me.
He knew how I’d react, so he gave me a sample of what he could do to me, leaving the rest for later.
“How could you?” I mutter, fighting my robe.
“Chill. It’s not that big of a deal.”
I pivot fast to him and finger his chest.
“For you, maybe. I was in the middle of looking for a good man to start a family with. Not immediately, I mean.Uh… You know what I mean,” I say, flustered, before pushing past him and going straight to the bedroom.
He follows me, watching me as I tap my clutch in desperation.
“The cigarettes are over there.”
“Yes, the cigarettes,” I snap, debating for a second whether to break the rules and light one or not.
We’ve already done it this evening.
I pull one out and put it between my lips when he clicks the lighter open and runs the flame across the tip.
He lets me blow off some steam as I take a drag, push it out quickly, and look at him like he’s stolen something from me.
“What were you thinking?”
“That you were hot. And didn’t have sex in a while. And needed a good lay.”
“You didn’t even fuck me…”
His lips move into a smile.
“Well, technically…”
“That was not fucking. You didn’t want to have sex with me because you knew how I’d react.”
“Maybe. And I was right. You also…”hepauses. “Didn’t want to have sex with me because you thought we weren’t compatible.”
“You think we are?”
“For what…?”
A grin spreads across his lips.
“For sex, we are perfect,” he says. “I can rock your world. You know that. And for the other thing? That’s up to you. You were looking for a, uh… What was that? A good man to have a family with? You think Thomas is a good man?”
“No,” I say frankly before crushing the cigarette against the porcelain edge of the food tray. “None ofthemwere good. They couldn’t even finger fuck me. But as I said before, finding that perfect man for me isn’t about sex. And this is something that you will probably find amusing, and you may even argue with me about it.”
“I won’t. And you’re probably right. But I don’t see why you insist on finding a man like him.”
I make a swift gesture.
“We’re not having this conversation. There are so many wrong things with me discussing this part of my life with you. I could be your mother, for fuck’s sake…” I say dramatically, knowing how ridiculous I sound.
He laughs.
“You didn’t just say that.”
“I could if I were prematurely developed.”