I ponder, although the answer is evident.
I have more fun in her office, sucking on butterscotch candies and watching her sip tea.
What does that say about my date?
“Fun as in…? In the bedroom?”
She gives me a small smile.
“Usually, it’s in the bedroom,” she says.
“We’re not there yet. I’m not that easy, you know…” I say with self-deprecating humor, reaching for a cigarette again.
She sighs as if the world is about to end.
“Go on. Light one.”
I shake my head, signaling I’ve changed my mind, and push my bag away.
“You’re not that easy? Or you’re not attracted to him?”
“Both.”
“Have you tried having sex with them before?’
“You know I have.”
Her eyes glint with amusement before I continue.
“It doesn’t make a difference,which only provesthey aren’t good for me. So what am I supposed to do?”
She closes her notepadafter writing a few more words and gives me her undivided attention.
“Only you can solve this puzzle. Whatshouldyou choose? From what I see, you have no problem attracting high-value men. They seek women like you. You have what they have.”
I interrupt her impatiently.
“They’re not serious about me. And they don’t care about me as a person. I started to think that something was wrong with me. And what’s worse––”
“You don’t even want them.”
“Exactly. I don’t even wantthem. Foolishly, I always expect things to work out somehow. And maybe the next one… is the one.”
“Do you really need to find ‘the one’?”
I gesture dismissively.
“No. Of course not. But I’m not ready to quit. And then do what? Take early retirement and go on a trip around the world?”
“As I said…” she replies in a temperate tone. “It’s the biggest puzzle of all. High-value men seem to have it all. They have their financial lives under control and make calculated moves while searching for a partner. Maybe you aren’t what they’re looking for. And that’s all right. Women want these men for all the benefits that come with them. But… There’s a big but. They sometimes lack in emotional intelligence, kindness, empathy––”
I slap my hands against my thighs.
“They don’t care,” I say.
“It’s not that they don’t care. They don’t even think about it.They can provide for you. Offeryou a comfortable life, safety, and all that. To the right woman it means a lot.”
A frown spreads across my brow.