Page 103 of The Last Good Man

“About what?”

“The dead-end thing.”

“I know I’m right. We all fall victim to our choices. Being where you are comes with sacrifices. Being where I am comes with sacrifices too. In your case, you don’t like the men in your circle.”

“I didn’t say that.”

He laughs, not believing my words for a second.

“What kind of sacrifices have you made?” I ask.

“I’m making one right now. I don’t have access to you,”hesays, and I thinkhehas more access to me than anyone elsehas ever had.

MELODY

It’s early morning when I finally fall asleep.

Our conversation dwindled for a while as neither of us wanted to be open to each other anymore before he swiftly fell asleep.

I couldn’t, so I silently watched him like you’d watch someone you love.

I always thought that if you liked someoneasleep, you’d surelylikethem awake.Sleep removes the asperities, pretenses, and roughness, making them vulnerable.

You watch their world getting swept away while their eyelids flutter, their muscles twitch, and their minds travel to places of peace and calmness or blatant horror.

They’re not there while you are.

It’s a beautiful thing to watch.

His arm was folded under his head, and his knee was slightly lifted while the window was barely open behind him. I wanted to ask him if he was cold, but I didn’t want to wake him.

The fire kept me company for a while before it started to die down. I didn’t want toget out ofbed and put another log in the fire, so I let it be.

The room was warm, yet I was still worried he might be cold by the window, so I eventually tiptoed out of my bed, grabbed a blanket from the closet, and covered him.

I held my breath for fear I might wake him.

Not a muscle twitched on his face while I felt like I was naked in a lion’s cage and he could grab me at any moment.

But he remained a sleeping lion.

I moved my arms and felt the wind against my breasts while spreading the blanket over him before I went back to sleep and twisted and turned for a couple of hours.

Not once did he move.

Between him and me, I was the vulnerable one.

I had issues.

The thought made me laugh inside.

I was happy I got to know him a little.

Interesting man.

I couldn’t say I wasn’t flattered by his attention, but we were still a no-go.

Perhaps that’s why I couldn’t sleep.

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