“What about this outfit,” I say, holding a pair of pants and a blouse against my body and spinning to Alice.
Her eyes beam with a smile.
“Where are you going again?” she asked, a bit puzzled. “I thought this was a date.”
“Hethinks it’s a date.”
“And you think it’s a gynecologic exam?”
We both laugh before I quickly speak.
“I hope not. This is the whole point. I don’t want to have sex tonight.”
“You won’t with those pants, baby. If anything, he will experience erectile dysfunction. What’s the plan with this one?”
She makes herself comfortable in her chair and looks at mewith curious eyes.
I rarely have Alice here on a Saturday afternoon. She usually runs errands, goes to the gym, or travels with her future husband.
I become painfully aware these moments will be more and more rare.
Her dark hair looks nice, with bangs that emphasize the structure of her cheekbones.
She wears makeup without overdoing it. It’s mostly moisturizer, a liquid foundation, and mascara.
Her beige top pairs well with her white pants. Her jewelry is delicate with little wisps of silver and occasionally a diamond.
“What?” she murmurs, noticing my stare.
“You look good. Content. You seem happy.”
“I am happy,andIwant to see you happy, too.So far, you’re ruining your mood with that boring outfit.”
“I don’t feel like sexing myself up. I don’t want to sleep with this guy.”
“Noted. But, excuse me if I ask, when was the last time you wanted to sleep with a guy?”
Last night.
Last night, I wanted Jax badly.
I wanted him to jump my bones and take me like a thug.
I was so mad that he had pushed me to the point where I had to say no…to myself.
I don’t like quarreling with myself.
“I haven’t met that guy,” I say.
“Why go meet this one then?”
“Because… I’m trying to figure things out and keep myself busy. Help this girl out,” I say, smiling.
“What things, if I may ask?”
“Getting used to going out, not getting easily attached.”
“You have a PhD in that.”