Alice glanced over at Kyle with a grin. “Lucky we never got caught then, huh?”
He grinned back at her, like they were Bonnie and Clyde on the run and loving it.
All I saw was the naivete. How I’d probably been exactly the same, said the same stupid things when I’d first left.
I’d had so many big dreams.
I was going to become a doctor.
Help underprivileged communities and those who couldn’t afford healthcare. I was going to find myself a nice house, nothing fancy, just a small three-bedroom place somewhere in a middle-class neighborhood. I’d meet a nice man, maybe at the hospital, maybe at a little tucked-away café that the locals all loved. We’d fall in love. Get married. Fill that home with babies.
I hadn’t even been out of the commune for a week when I’d met Caleb. He’d been charming at first, rich and handsome.
I’d instantly imagined him taking me on dates. Driving me out to the beach where we’d drink milkshakes in summer or curl up with him reading books by a fire in winter.
Those dreams had been shattered after he’d left me crying and bleeding.
A tiny baby growing inside me, all that was left of the hopes I’d left home with.
And that wasn’t even the worst thing he’d done to me.
It got so much worse.
I swallowed thickly, turning away from Alice’s fingers deftly moving over the phone screen as she played some sort of animated game on Kyle’s phone, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration.
Hours passed with me lost in my head. Miles flew by beneath the tires of Kyle’s truck, and I periodically pushed food toward Hayley Jade, which she mostly ignored.
I bit back a cheer when finally, her small fingers reached for a bag of candy I put by her leg. She still refused to look at me, but she lifted her head and ripped the package open with her teeth before gobbling down a handful of the sour worms.
“I’m sorry I don’t know what you like,” I whispered to her. “I’ll learn though. And I’ll fill our pantry with all of your favorites. Whatever you want.” I paused, praying she’d respond. “Hayley Jade?” I prompted when she didn’t say anything.
She put the cap back on her water and went back to staring out the window.
I sighed.
Alice caught my eye in the mirror on the back of her sun visor. “At least she ate something. Maybe it would help if you just called her Jade, like Shari did.”
I nodded but didn’t comment. I didn’t want to talk about Hayley Jade like she wasn’t even in the car.
I also despised the idea of calling her anything other than the beautiful name I’d given her.
She’d been named after Hayden.
And he was the one good memory I had from my time in Saint View.
But I would call her anything she wanted if that’s what made her happy. I’d say anything. Do anything. “Would you like that?” I asked her. “Would you like me to call you Jade?”
She didn’t answer, and I didn’t push her any further.
She was here. She was safe. And we were passing the faded sign that read Welcome to Saint View.
I was back. But it was almost the last place I wanted to be.
Saint View wasn’t home. It wasn’t good.
Just like the commune, it was where happiness died and dreams were shattered.
13