Page 45 of Wife Number One

I shook my head, slowly taking the seat next to Rebel. “Is she okay?” I whispered.

Rebel made a noncommittal noise and lowered her voice so the kids wouldn’t hear. “She hasn’t said anything. I asked her if she wanted to color or if she wanted to use the bathroom, and she didn’t answer. But she picked out that Barbie doll, so that’s something.”

I breathed out heavily. “Other than to scream, I haven’t heard her make a noise since we left Shari’s place. Shari is her…” I couldn’t even say it. There was so much shame in it. Here was Rebel, surrounded by her children, and yet I hadn’t even been able to hold on to the single one I’d had.

I didn’t need to dump all of my baggage on Rebel though. I did a quick head count of the children in the room and widened my eyes at my sister. “Are they all yours?”

She let out a laugh. “You act like I birthed a football team.”

“Rebel, you have four kids under five.”

She grinned, rubbing her tiny belly. “And one on the way.”

My heart panged with both love and excitement for her. And pain for myself.

Other women all seemed to find it so easy to get pregnant.

I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my arms.

Rebel watched me for a second then cleared her throat. “Want to meet your nieces and nephews? Hayley Jade already met them all.”

I very much did.

Rebel had a sleepy toddler on her lap, her daughter’s eyes big as she stared at me silently, a pacifier in her mouth. Rebel stroked a hand over her daughter’s hair. “This sleepyhead is Lavender. She’s our youngest, or at least she will be for the next few months. Don’t take her silence right now to mean anything. She’s a tiny terror when she’s awake properly, but she’s like her mama and not one for mornings.”

I smiled. “I remember Kian trying to get you out the door for runs when I stayed with you.”

Rebel stifled a yawn. “That still happens a few times a week. Though with getting up to kids in the middle of the night, our 5:00 a.m. runs are often more like seven now. Sleep is precious around here. You’d think with four of us on nighttime duties, we’d all manage to get more sleep than the average set of parents…”

“But you went and had more kids than most people do.”

Rebel grinned. “And in the shortest time frame possible.”

I smiled at her. “Probably a known hazard of having as many partners as you do.”

Rebel shifted on the couch, cuddling her daughter. “You’d think we’d learn to be a bit more careful, wouldn’t you? But can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

Rebel leaned in conspiratorially over the top of Lavender’s head. “I love being a mom more than anything else. I even love being pregnant.” She laughed. “And I think they love knocking me up.”

A blush crept up my cheeks at the idea of all the sex my sister had to be having.

But she looked so happy, despite clearly being a bit on the tired side.

A surge of jealousy hit me hard, and I silently admonished myself for it.

This was exactly why the Lord would never let me have another child. I coveted the happiness other women had. Jealousy kept my body inhospitable to creating new life.

A dark-haired boy of maybe three rammed a truck against my foot and then grinned up at me mischievously. “Beep-beep!”

“You’re a bit late on the horn there, you crazy driver. You already ran your aunty Kara over,” Rebel said to him. “Say hello, Wolf.”

He sat back on his heels and cocked his head to one side, his little brow furrowed in confusion, like he was trying to work out where he’d suddenly acquired a new relative from.

He was so much like Vaughn it was shocking. I glanced at my sister, my eyes wide.

She chuckled quietly. “There’s no doubting who created him, huh? He looks just like Vaughn when he does that thing with his head. Weirds me out too.” She lowered her chin onto the top of Lavender’s hair. “She does it as well.”

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