Page 18 of Wife Number One

I wanted to hate her. For allowing my daughter to be here. For not keeping her safe.

Except, wasn’t I just as guilty? Just as helpless?

All I could do was pity the woman who wasn’t even protected by the sanctity of marriage. Josiah might have used my body whenever the mood took him, but at least he didn’t rent me out to his friends.

“Take the girl home, Shari,” Josiah demanded. “Make sure she is clean and presentable tomorrow. I’ll need some photos of her so we can get things underway.”

Shari hesitated.

Josiah’s gaze sharpened. “Is there a problem with that? You were told long ago what the Lord’s plans for this girl were. She is not part of our flock. She is tainted with the evil of the man who made her. She cannot be allowed to stay within our walls, especially not as beautiful as she is. You saw what happened here tonight. She is a temptation that will divide our men.”

Shari nodded quickly. “Of course. I will follow the Lord’s word, Brother Josiah. I will have her ready.”

Josiah ran his finger down the side of her face and lifted her chin, so she was forced to look him in the eyes. “That’s more like it. The Lord will be pleased by your obedience, as am I. Now take the child and go.”

Shari gathered up Hayley Jade who was slumped over on the log seat, too tired to stay awake any longer. She didn’t stir as Shari strode from the campfire, Hayley Jade in her arms.

“Go,” I said to Alice. “Pack whatever you need but do it quickly and silently.” I swallowed thickly, not sure if what I was going to say next was the right thing to do or not. But I had to try. “Wake our sisters and tell them to come with us.”

Alice shook her head quickly. “We can’t! They’ll never come! Naomi and Samantha do everything right. You know they do. They’ll alert everyone, and we’ll never get out.”

She was right, but guilt crushed me at the thought of leaving them behind. “Will you be able to sleep at night if we leave them, knowing what we know now? Jacqueline is barely older than a child, but beautiful enough to turn men’s heads everywhere she goes. I’ve seen them staring at her, Alice! And not just in this perverted little circle where darkness and alcohol make them brave. They stare at Jacqueline in church like they’re a pack of hungry wolves and she’s a rabbit. No shame that everyone can see them. You know she’ll be next. All of our sisters will be.”

“Naomi and Samantha long for husbands,” Alice argued.

She was right. They did. I bit my lip with a sigh, then finally nodded, agreeing with her. Naomi and Samantha were made for this life in a way that Alice and I were not. I tried to be everything that was expected of me but failed at every hurdle. Alice didn’t even try. One of those newcomers could be the man who decided he wanted her, and then Alice’s life, which might have been reasonably good up until now, my father somewhat tolerant of her antics, would become identical to mine. She’d be a slave to her husband, there only to serve his needs and raise his children.

He’d eat up every ounce of her sparkle and leave her as dust.

Naomi and Samantha would thrive with those boundaries. Alice would shrivel up and die, and so would my bright-eyed daughter.

I couldn’t save them all.

“We leave Naomi and Samantha,” I agreed. “You’re right. They’ll never come. But we have to take Jacqueline.”

Alice nodded determinedly. “I can do it. I can make her understand. You get Hayley Jade. I’ll get Jacqueline. Meet me outside our place as quick as you can. It’s closer to the road.” Her eyes were bright with excitement. “We’re really doing this?”

Dread pooled in my stomach.

Alice saw this as a big adventure.

While I knew it was anything but. Alice had never been outside the walls that had been erected around our community. She’d been so sheltered, daydreaming about what life beyond the fences would be. Romanticizing it. No idea what the actual reality was.

But I knew. I’d been her once. I’d left and gone exploring, only to realize the world outside was worse than what I had in here. It was dark and depraved, no happiness to be found.

I didn’t want to leave the commune.

But Josiah had left me no choice.

Alice disappeared into the darkness, and I did the same, leaving the light of the bonfire behind me, praying the men would all stay there for hours more, drinking away the night until they were too intoxicated to get up and notice we’d gone.

Maybe if I was lucky, they’d all pass out, the fire would burn low, and the night frost would take them.

Something inside me delighted in the thought of their deaths, but I quickly banished the thought, knowing it stemmed from the evil inside me I hadn’t been able to shake in the five years since I’d returned from the outside.

Those demons still lurked inside me. It was yet another reason the Lord would not bless me with a pregnancy.

And I was about to make it so much worse. Step by step into the darkness, I could practically feel my insides blackening.

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